The Distraction
by JMLHCPKSfan
Summary: After a bad breakup, Logan meets James, a model visiting home from California. Even though he is a little older, James is charming, seductive, and gentlemanly... The perfect distraction from Logan's heartbreak.
1. Chapter 1

"Guys… I'm starting to think he isn't coming back," Logan sighed, cheek resting in his hand as he looks forlorningly down at the keyboard. His fingers trace absently on the keys until finally he looks up at the webcam recording him for his blog. "I'm realizing that TV is bullshit and sometimes the boy doesn't realize his mistake and he doesn't come and sweep you off your feet in a kiss. Is it sad that I kind of expected that?"

He was excited to have quite a few followers of his blog since the documentary he roughly made about the daily life of a gay teenager. The movie ended just before Kendall broke up with Logan, and people seemed to be concerned about him since then.

"I'm kind of worried that I'm not healing properly. It's been two months since he left me and I'm still really upset… Then again, it's hard to find closure when a guy breaks off a two-year relationship because he suddenly doesn't love you anymore," he continues. "I mean, you all saw it in my movie. We were perfect together. Best friends, got along so well… Then suddenly…"

Logan trails off and looks up at the camera, laughing pitifully.

"Anyway," he sighs. Just as he opens his mouth to speak again, the door to his bedroom creaks open and his mom's head pokes in. Logan stops the recording and turns in his chair.

"Come to lunch with me, sweetie," she suggested. "Rose will be there."

"No thanks," Logan smirked, rolling his eyes. "That doesn't sound-"

"There's someone I want you to meet that'll be there."

"Who?"

"Just look handsome, okay?" she winked mischievously. "We'll leave in twenty minutes."

Look handsome? Logan got up from his chair as his mom left, going to the mirror. He really didn't think anything could make him look handsome, so he really doesn't do anything to change his appearance. He decides if he just sticks with his t-shirt and jeans he can finish his video before he leaves.

* * *

"Is this a blind date, Mom?" Logan asks from behind his mother as they make their way into the restaurant. They're late, because Logan's mom made him change into a nice flannel shirt to look more presentable.

"No, no," Joanna chuckles, hooking her arm around her son's. "Oh, look! They're right there."

They made their way to a round table in the middle of the restaurant, where Joanna's redheaded best friend turned and waved excitedly. As they approached, another person turned to look at them and wave politely with a dazzling grin. Logan thought that he had never seen someone smile so nicely at a stranger, and his teeth were so perfect.

They arrived at the table and the strange man stood, towering over Logan and Joanna and taking Joanna into a hug. Logan was stunned- this stranger's hair was short and styled well, shiny and chestnut brown and his skin was olive and smooth looking.

"Oh, James. You've changed so much- grown," Joanna said happily.

"Well, it has been twenty years," the stranger laughed as he kissed her cheek. He pulled away and looked over at Logan, who suddenly felt self-conscious. This stranger's eyes were greenish-brown, hazel maybe, and just dazzling. They were so present and seemed to bear into Logan's. His lips, even at rest, were in a perfect pouting position.

"James, do you remember my son, Logan?" Joanna asked, putting a hand on her son's back and giving him a little shove. Suddenly it all made sense- Logan was being set up with this guy, who was completely out of his league.

"I have a few memories," James said. Logan's mouth went dry and his muscles were paralyzed as James took his hand and kissed his knuckles charismatically, eyes never leaving Logan's. "All good ones, of course."

Logan stared in awe. This man… He was so confident and charming that he kissed Logan's hand… And Logan liked it, even though he wasn't a Southern Belle blushing behind her fan. Although James somehow knew Logan, Logan didn't know James. If he had ever interacted with this man he would definitely remember it.

"Logan, this is my nephew, James," Rose said, and both she and Joanna were looking at the two like they would burst with excitement.

"You don't know me," James said, eyes bearing cooly into Logan's. "I think you were only about six last we saw each other. I was about ten or eleven, I think."

"You two used to play together, remember? When Rose would babysit you for me?" Joanna urged to her son.

"No, I don't remember at all," Logan chuckled a little, brows furrowed. How could he not remember someone like this, who was apparently a close friend in his early childhood?

"Well, sit boys," Joanna said, already in her seat. Logan hadn't even noticed that there were people trying to get around him and his mother was already ordering her drink… All he could focus on was those hazel eyes still staring at him and that big, soft hand still holding his gently. Logan laughed and ducked his head as he took his hand back and sat. James took a seat beside him, eyes finally tearing away.

 _Stop swooning, you idiot. He's charming to everyone- you saw him with Mom! He's so out of your league… And probably not even gay! Don't get your hopes up, he's not interested like that._ Logan thought to himself, trying to get himself under control.

Joanna and Rose started bantering on about what to order and how many calories everything was, Logan and James forgotten already. Logan was trying to focus on the menu and not the hunk sitting beside him sipping water.

"What do you suggest, Logan?" came that velvety voice again, and Logan looked up to find those hazel eyes on him again. Jeez, this guy seemed to absorbed in Logan, and he didn't know why!

"Um… I don't know. What do you like?" Logan said, eyes averting to James's menu, trying not to swoon at this hunk staring at him so attentively.

"Mmm… Peanut butter sandwiches, mainly," James said briskly. Logan looked up in confusion to see that James was grinning goofily, and Logan had to laugh. "But I don't think they have that here."

Logan's face was burning as he laughed and he just wanted to get away from this guy- he was embarrassing himself by laughing like an idiot!

"Well I always get a salad- it's really good here," Logan said, clearing his throat.

"Do I look like a salad would fill me up?" James teased. "How about a cheeseburger? I'm a man, Logan. I need meat."

"Well…" Logan swallowed, trying to stop staring at James's perfect mouth. "I guess I figured you were watching your physique. You look like you spend a lot of time in the gym."

James's eyes swept mischievously over to Logan, a smirk across his lips.

"You think I look hot?" he asked quietly.

"What? No!"

"You don't?" James's lip jutted out jokingly.

"I- I- Um…"

"It's okay. I know what you meant," James chuckled, putting a muscular arm over Logan's shoulders and shaking him roughly. "Jeez, you're just cute as a button. Relax. I won't bite… Unless you want me to."

This last part is said seductively as James's arm drops from Logan's shoulder, fingers grazing over Logan's back on the way.

Logan started to wonder if this James guy is a hooker or something. This was definitely a trap- Joanna knew James was flirtatious and handsome and wanted Logan to be entranced by someone other than Kendall, his ex-boyfriend.

He caught his mom's eyes and gave her a "really?!" look, which she smirked at. His mom was sympathetic and patient with her son while he was trying to get over his breakup, but she was just trying to speed the process along by introducing someone else. Even if Logan didn't take the bait, maybe it would get his dating spark going again.

After the food arrived, Logan was surprised to see James tear into his cheeseburger hungrily. Usually pretty boys like James who obviously worked hard on their bodies also kept a tight leash on themselves and didn't eat things like cheeseburgers. James didn't even seem to care about the grease dripping down his chin or the ketchup smearing the corner of his mouth.

His hazel eyes finally swept over to Logan and he stopped chewing as he noticed Logan chuckling a little.

"What?" he asked, mouth full.

"Nothing just-" Logan said, then laughed again. "You've got-" he gestured to his own mouth, giving James the hint and offering him a napkin. James didn't seem at all embarrassed as he smiled and wiped his face.

"How's the… Salad?" James asked as Joanna and Rose started up their own conversation. "Are you already done?"

Logan looked down at his half-eaten salad.

"I wasn't that hungry," Logan lied.

Since Kendall broke up with him, Logan had stopped eating much at all. He just didn't feel like eating- the depression took away his appetite. As a result, his body went into starvation mode and saved anything he did eat as fat. Fat on his tummy, fat on his arms, fat everywhere. He still wasn't chunky, but he had definitely put on weight. Now he had his appetite back, but he was trying to lose all that weight.

"You know," James said softly, wiping his mouth again. "You don't have to starve yourself. I'm a model and I still indulge."

 _MODEL?_ This guy was a _model_? And he was eating a burger like that? Of course it made sense- he was gorgeous and extremely confident in himself.

"Well… I'm sure you still have the metabolism of a ten-year-old," Logan answered dismissively, poking at the lettuce and croutons on his plate.

"A man can't survive off of rabbit food, you know," James said with a nudge. "Especially when he doesn't even eat enough of it to feed a rabbit itself."

"It's not like I'm starving myself," Logan answered.

"Good. You don't need to," James said, going back to his burger. "Even if you did want to get rid of whatever fat you think you have, all you have to do is exercise."

 _Whatever fat you think you have_. That phrase stuck in Logan's mind and made him feel both defensive, like James was lying to make him feel better, and good because maybe it _was_ all in Logan's head.

"But there's nothing wrong with the way you look," James said, his perfect lips then hugging around his straw to sip his water. "Honestly."

The two looked at one another for a second and James was once again looking right into Logan's soul. Logan quickly looked away, realizing that James could easily see the everlasting pain in his eyes, and he didn't like it. Reluctantly, he picked up his fork again and finished his salad.

As soon as the bill arrived James snatched it away before anyone could reach for it.

"Forget it, James," Joanna said, holding out her hand for the check.

"No, no. My treat, for my beautiful new friends," James winked charmingly at Joanna. "It's no problem."

He pulled out a thick black debit card from his wallet, which read "James D. Diamond" in silver letters and flagged down the waitress to give it to her.

"How long are you in town for, honey, we really should get together again. Catch up. I was so absorbed in the latest gossip, I forgot all about that," Joanna said apologetically.

"It's okay, I was sort of distracted, too," James said, winking over at Logan, who blushed. "I'm here indefinitely. Just taking a break, you know? It's always good to come to such a small town where nobody knows me. Take a load off. I'll definitely be seeing you again."

James said this last sentence looking at Logan, but was talking to Joanna.

* * *

"Mom! You tricked me!" Logan hissed as he and his mother stepped out of the restaurant. "Did you like pay him to hit on me?"

"No! I mean, I don't know what Rose told him, but I just wanted you two to see one another. See if you remembered him."

"Were we really childhood friends or-?" Logan asked accusingly.

"You really were. You two used to take baths together," Joanna teased. "Now he lives in California and he's a _model_. And he really seemed to like you."

"I doubt it," Logan grumbled. "Rose probably told him to do all that."

"And he kissed your hand- how gentlemanly. And sexy."

"Yeah, maybe if I was a girl," Logan said dismissively, but really he did think it was pretty sweet. He always liked a gentleman.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I guess you are all wondering what the hell. Why did I suddenly disappear, then this story comes out of nowhere with no explanation? Good question.**

 **Well two years ago I got this boyfriend and I guess I didn't need fanfiction anymore, cause I was living one. I kind of forgot BTR for a long time. And** ** _then_** **, just a few months ago he broke up with me and it's been pretty hard. Writing is really therapeutic for me, so it's helping a lot. Our fandom has dwindled to about nothing, but I know there are a few reading and not saying anything, since authors can see who read things when. So to all you guys, thanks so much for sticking with me even though I did what I always vowed not to do and I went on hiatus without finishing a story. All of Me may or may not get finished.**

* * *

Logan chuckled as he flipped through the photo album of his early childhood, many pictures featuring a chubby brunette kid, obviously bigger and older than Logan, playing patiently with his younger friend. Logan couldn't believe he really was never told about James before.

In his mind, Logan compared this picture of his chunky, flushed, goofy looking little kid to the hunk that he met today at lunch. Nowadays James was tall, sculpted, and his face never cracked in any unattractive expression, only cool and collected ones. But he was still patient with Logan- there weren't many people in their twenties that would be so willing to talk to and hit on a high schooler, after all. But James treated Logan like he didn't see the age gap and didn't even mind being seen with someone so… Average.

Logan was average height, average weight, average looking, with average dreams and average money. He was nothing special, yet this god of a man treated him like they were equal in every aspect.

"He really has changed a lot," Joanna chuckled, looking over Logan's shoulder at the pictures. "Do you like him?"

"Who wouldn't? Look at him now."

"You two should get together one night," Joanna prodded, watching her son go still. "Too soon?"

"Too soon," Logan said softly. "I'm not ready."

Joanna fell silent, obviously frustrated.

* * *

Logan sighed and looked at the email on his computer. He needed a submission MU showcasing his best filming work as a part of his portfolio to get into the film classes. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to major in film studies, but he knew he wanted to be in those classes. The video, the letter said, was to be about someone or something interesting to him, and at least an hour long.

He clicked into his documentary about himself posted on his blog and cringed a little. Even though he didn't make it that long ago, most of the shots were shaky from the cheap Canon camera being held by Logan himself, and he hadn't used microphones so the audio sucked.

He could NOT turn that in. He had a month to come up with something better… But he didn't know where to even start. He needed a better camera, a better audio system, a tripod, and a muse. Jeez, a muse- he had no idea what to do his documentary about. People seemed to like his film about the everyday life of a gay teenager, but those people weren't professors of film study.

He decided definitely it should be about a person- that would be easier and more fun to shoot.

Someone interesting… Of course his first thought was his mom. Single mother of a gay teen, working as a realtor most of her hours and still having time for her son and her best friend, Rose. But again, she was always working and didn't have time to deal with the movie. Plus, who would want to watch a movie about a realtor?

Who else did he know that was interesting?

* * *

"Logie! Rose and James are here!"

The call echoed through the house and sent annoyance through Logan's body. He didn't have time for this set-up! He had to come up with something interesting to film!

He got up and gave himself the old once-over, deciding he didn't really care if he looked good- he wasn't ready to impress James enough into a date. Besides, James was just being flirtatious to be nice, and Logan knew it.

Before he could go downstairs to meet the guests, James walked right into his room, dressed in dark jeans, a navy t-shirt, and a leather jacket. As he passed, Logan got a whiff of his cologne. Okay, maybe he did care about what he looked like around James… He wished he could brush his teeth and fix his hair a little.

"Hey!" James grinned, taking Logan's hand. Instead of kissing Logan's knuckles he pulled the smaller boy in to bump their shoulders together in a bro-hug that Logan wasn't used to. He stumbled a little and blushed, James slapping his other shoulder before backing away.

"What's with the jacket? It's warm out," Logan said timidly, trying to regain his "cool" before he could embarrass himself more.

"Don't I look cool?" James asked spreading his arms out charismatically. When Logan just gave him a lopsided smile, he pouted a little. "Well, anyway. I'm freezing around here."

"It's sixty-five."

"But it's eighty in Cali," James sang, plopping down on Logan's bed.

"What are you guys doing here?" Logan asked, staying right where he was, feeling awkward although James seemed right at home.

"I don't really know. You don't want to see me?" James pouted again, and Logan laughed, rolling his eyes. "Like you haven't _dreamt_ of having a stunning, handsome gentleman like me in your bed?"

Logan blushed fiercely, turning away to mess with his drawers, seeming to be tidying up.

"You've had a few guys here before, though, I'm sure. You're a stud beneath that shy cover-up."

Images of he and Kendall arose in his head. Things they did in that bed, right where James was sitting. A wave of arousal momentarily overtook Logan as he thought about how much he craved that now. Then the arousal was replaced with sadness, because he didn't have his Kendall anymore to fulfill his needs, and he never would again.

"Am I right?" James was asking, and apparently had asked it a few times. He had got up and was now behind Logan, poking him in the back. "Huh?"

"What?" Logan asked absently, turning around and finding a wall of man right behind him.

"Woah… Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry," James said softly, genuine worry on his face. "Did I upset you?"

Logan tried to smooth out his face and swallow the lump in his throat, pushing past James and going to his bed to sit. He didn't want to talk about this with James, since James was a stranger and he was being pushed into his arms anyway. He really wished James would just go away- he was extremely stressed out and didn't like the feelings of lust and desire he was feeling for James.

"Hey, I'm really sorry," James said sincerely, still thinking he said something to make Logan cry. Technically he did, but Logan didn't blame him for unintentionally bringing up sad feelings about his breakup.

"It's not you," Logan smiled a little as James sat beside him, sitting close but not touching him, only looking at him with those intense hazel eyes. When Logan said nothing for a while, James boredly lied back with one muscular arm behind his head, the other playing with his dogtag necklace.

"I have stuff to do," Logan answered briskly, going to his computer on the desk and opening up his email from MU.

"Can I watch?"

Logan slowly turned to James, face contorted in confusion. Why would he want to watch? James just looked back at him seriously, fingers still playing with his necklace.

"I don't mind if you leave," Logan hinted, thinking maybe James thought it would be rude to leave Logan alone, since he was his guest. Really Logan wanted to be left alone- he hated that his mom was trying to force her son into James's arms, even if he WAS a fine piece of man. James was just too friendly, and while it worked in California, people in Minnesota liked their space.

"Mmm… No thanks. Scoot over," James said, getting up and trying to squeeze into the desk chair beside Logan. When the smaller boy finally made room enough, James settled in smugly and put an arm over the back of the chair, touching Logan's back casually. "So what are we doing?"

The musky smell of the hunk beside him along with the warm touch to his hip, shoulder, and back made Logan go mushy inside, his impatience melting away.

"Umm… I have to submit a film showing my best work in to this college I've been accepted to," Logan answered. "A documentary- that's what I do."

"Woah. I wish I could do something cool like that."

"What? You sit in front of a camera and look pretty," Logan snorted. "That's way cooler than being a filmmaker."

"There's no skill behind that, though. Anyone with a pretty face can do that."

"Show me something of yours- I guarantee you're like, a master at it. I'm sure it takes skill."

"You- you don't want to see my pictures," James said, surprising Logan by looking uncomfortable and displaying a nervous smile.

"Why?"

"I can't tell you, or you'll Google me as soon as I leave," James answered. "Just trust me."

"Come on! Show me! Why are you ashamed?"

"I'm not ashamed. First thing about me: I'm never ashamed. But you're so innocent… You'd look at me different if you knew."

Logan searched James's eyes. Even though he didn't know this guy very well, Logan could tell he was serious.

"It's easy to judge someone's character based on my profession."

"Give me a hint."

Logan was dying to know what was so bad about James's pictures. Was James into porn? Did he model sex toys? Did he pose for an erotic cougar website with old women?

But James just sat there, staring at Logan. Except now his eyes were smoldering, his chin tilted down and slightly to the side as licked then drug his teeth across his lower lip. His finger rose to hook into the collar of his shirt, revealing a hard chest that is obviously normally shaved but is a little hairy now. His eyes dropped to look over Logan's body flirtatiously.

Logan's breath caught and that wave of arousal rose through is stomach. He wondered if James knew he was looking at Logan like this. And he also wondered _why_. But he sure wasn't complaining. Realizing that his body had also reacted to this and his pants were now… Tight, Logan blushed and laughed nervously, shooting up and starting to walk away.

"What's wrong?" James asked, looking up playfully and scooting over to take the whole desk chair. He leaned back and crossed his legs smugly, looking at Logan trying to compose himself.

" _That_ was wrong," Logan said sternly, finally turning back to see that James looked normal again, and he knew exactly what he did, judging by the smirk on his lips.

"Logan, sex isn't wrong," James replied. "There's nothing wrong with sex. It's natural."

Just the way that word dripped out of James's mouth- _sex_. It was driving Logan crazy.

"But it was uncalled for."

"You asked for a hint."

Before Logan could really think about that, his mom's head poked into the doorway.

"Just checking in," she said, like she half-expected the two to be making out or having sex in the room. "Are you two having fun?"

"No," Logan grumbled, at the same time James saying "Absolutely!"

Logan shot his mother a "HELP ME!" look, just as James added, "Logan was about to show me his movie-making stuff. He's starting a new documentary for college, you know."

When his mom looked over in confusion, not having heard the news, Logan have her a wave saying he would tell her about it later.

"Okay… Well if you guys get hungry-"

"We'll go out and grab a bite, then," James finished. Joanna looked pleased and nodded, winking to Logan before disappearing.

James turned back to the desk, looking at the books, papers, knick-knacks, and bulletin board.

"Damn… You're a busy guy, aren't you?" he mused. "I kind of wish I had things to- hey."

James cut himself short and leaned forward, pushing mail from colleges away and picking up a picture hidden there. Logan's breath caught and he was on edge as he noticed that it was a picture of him and Kendall.

"Is this your ex-boyfriend?" James asked, not looking up. Logan angrily tried to snatch it away, but James was able to pull it out of his grip easily. "He's not hot enough for you, Logan."

"You don't even know him."

"I hope you're the one that broke it off with him," James said, turning his chair to face Logan but still not looking up. "A guy like that would be an idiot to let YOU go."

Logan was defensive now, and just wanted James to leave. Who did he think he was?

"Did he ever bring you flowers?" James asked, looking up.

"No," Logan retorted.

"Did he open doors for you?"

"Well… Sometimes."

"Did he surprise you with little gifts?"

"On my birthday…"

"You don't even know how wrong it is that he didn't treat you like a prince, do you? That's not the way you should be treated," James said sternly. "Someone like you should be treasured."

Logan snatched the picture away, face burning with anger and heartbreak. He knew James was right, but he didn't care about all that girly stuff. He wasn't a girl, after all.

"Don't be MAD," James said softly, standing up, so close to Logan that the smell of his aftershave could be smelled.

"Well I am," Logan said, pushing past the bigger guy to bury the picture in papers again.

"If I was your boyfriend, I'd make sure you know how special you are," James said simply. "Every day."

"And what about YOUR boyfriend? Or girlfriend?"

"It's complicated."

Logan's heart sank a little at the insinuation that James was taken, and he cursed his growing feelings for this guy.

"Oh."

"I mean that I don't really have one- boyfriend or girlfriend- but I have a lot of… Encounters."

Logan started to fiddle with his camera and film equipment absently. He thought it a little weird that James didn't want him to see his work, gave him that sexy look as a "hint", and now is saying he has a lot of "encounters" but doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

"James… Are you in porn?" he asked seriously.

"No. NO! No, I'm saying… Well, I get around," James confessed. "Again, not ashamed. But I'm an extremely sexual person, and there's no shortage of people willing to explore that with me."

This was the first cocky thing James had ever said, and Logan shot him a dirty look. He always hated when people gloated about their busy sex lives, because he wasn't impressed with it.

"I told you, Logan. There's nothing wrong with sex," James repeated. "I get tested every few months, I don't have any kids, and I make sure to at least like the person I do it with. No complete strangers, because I date them a little first."

"Kids? Are you straight?"

This was the only straight-forward thing Logan ever said to James, and James seemed a little surprised about it.

"I'm for anyone I find attractive," James shrugged. "So if you have to label it, I guess I'm bi."

Logan should have known that: a guy that hot should not be reserved for only one gender. And he should have known how much James got around, too.

"But I can't see myself, like, MARRYING a girl, though. No, once I find Mr. Right, I'm done sleeping around. I'll be for him, and him only."

Logan looked over at James for the first time, seeing that James had been gazing at him the whole time as he played with his necklace again. James smiled a little, cocking his head dreamily.

Silence spread between them and Logan put his camera back down and sat on the edge of the desk. He couldn't believe he was voluntarily sitting so close to James, but he wasn't uncomfortable.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you aren't a cheater," he finally said with a little laugh.

"No, I don't mean I'll stop sleeping around when I start dating the guy that I'm gonna marry. I mean when I meet him."

"How will you know?"

The two locked eyes, Logan's open and filled with the desire to just hear everything in James's head, James's full of wisdom and knowledge.

"I'll know when I look at a fine piece of ass and just… Don't want it," James said softly. "And when I look at him and all I want is… Him."

Logan felt like his heart was goo now, like he could just float like a feather into James's arms. He knew from the moment James kissed his hand that he was a romantic, but he had no idea how romantic he really was.

"Wow," James grinned, tapping playfully on Logan's fingernail with his, then rubbing his finger. "Nobody's ever looked at me like that before."

"Like what?"

James just smiled wanly and turned to Logan's computer.

"I'm a writer, you know," James said, looking keenly over to Logan.

"I- Really?"

"Yeah. But nobody really knows."

"What do you write?"

"Romance. Poetry. Songs that I play on the piano. Sometimes horror," James said, one hand scrolling through the email from MU, the other still playing with his necklace. "That's why I got you so mushy-feeling just then. I have a way with words."

"I was NOT mushy."

James just chuckled and patted Logan's hand.

"I guess I'll let you get to work on your movie," he finally said, getting up.

"No, don't leave," Logan found himself begging. It was then that he realized how lonely he had been since Kendall broke up with him. James breaking through the barrier and melting his heart made him greedy for more contact. James cocked a brow at him. "I could use some company."

"Okay!" James said happily, sitting back down at the desk as Logan got up to get his camera. "Okay, yeah! What can I help with? Do you want me to be a camera man? I can probably do that… But that's about all I can do."

"No, no," Logan said, setting up his camera on the desk and pulling up a chair beside James. "Just talk like you normally would."

"Is that thing on?" James asked wearily, looking at the camera.

"Yeah. I'm gonna interview you a little."

"For what?"

"For my documentary on James… James… I forget your last name."

"Diamond? A documentary on James Diamond?" James gaped. "Really? You want to make a movie about me? I've never been an actor before."

"No acting involved," Logan said quickly. "Just be yourself."

James was grinning ear to ear, obviously excited. Then he looked back at the camera, and when his gaze returned to Logan he looked disappointed.

"You can't make a movie about me with THAT camera."

"I know, I know… There's a lot of new stuff I need to buy for this."

"Okay, so let's go shopping," James said excitedly. "And while we're out, I need a haircut and a little touchup on my tan. I gotta look sharp for my very own movie."

"No, I want the beauty regimens in my film, so you'll have to wait until after I get all the new equipment."

James stood up and took Logan's hand, pulling him up.

"I'm really excited about this," he said, still holding Logan's hand. "About being documented, but mostly I'm happy that you want to spend so much time with me."

Logan looked up into those hazel eyes and his heart was about to explode. He felt like he could have collapsed when James brought the hand up to his lips, retaining eye contact as he kissed his knuckles. James had to laugh a little at how much he had Logan wrapped around his finger and kissed Logan's blushed cheek.

"You're really cute, you know," James whispered.

The kiss burned on Logan's cheek even after James had started to exit the room to go shopping.

Logan felt guilty about feeling these butterflies for someone other than Kendall. Sure, Kendall had already forgotten about him and he should try to forget him... But he didn't know if he was ready to pine after someone else.

But then he turned around and saw James with his chest against the doorframe, displaying his sculpted ass all too intentionally, and looking flirtatiously at Logan.

"Coming?" he asked softly. Logan, practically drooling, was practically magnetized to James. Grabbing his wallet on the way out, Logan gave him a smile and a nod.


	3. Chapter 3

Logan loved the way James was inspecting every camera like he knew what criteria he was looking for in a good one, but clearly he didn't. Several times Logan had to remind him that they weren't looking for photography cameras, but video cameras. He guessed it was only natural he went to the photography ones, since he knew a little about them with his job as a model. Logan also liked that James was enthusiastic, even about something he didn't care about, like cameras.

"Logan! Get this one! This one's amazing," James said, catching Logan's attention from a camera that was about half his budget. He looked over to see James acting like he was filming him with a big, professional looking video camera. "And it's only $6,000!"

Logan's eyes widened and his brows shot up.

"That's 15 times more than my budget, James," he said, suddenly worried that James might drop the model camera and he would have to pay for it.

"Budget?" James snorted, fiddling with the buttons a little.

"Yeah. Ever heard of it?"

It was the first time Logan had really joked with the guy and it kind of surprised him, but James seemed fine with it and even favored him with a dazzling grin and a wink.

Logan smirked and returned his attention to the cheap camera in his hands.

"Well you can't get THAT," James retorted, sneering at the camera in Logan's hands. "Come on, are you even serious about this?"

"I'm spending all my savings and there's still a lot of other stuff to get with only $400," Logan reminded him.

"You only have $400 saved up?" James asked seriously.

"Yeah… I mean, just from shoveling snow in the winter and mowing grass in spring and summer, and raking leaves in fall… But I usually spend all that. Well, I did. On dates and stuff." Before Logan could think too hard about the whole "he used to have someone to go one dates with" thing, he went on. "What do you expect?"

"Well I usually put away about $10,000 a month into savings."

"Jesus," Logan hissed, shaking his head in disbelief. James just smirked and shrugged, like it was no big deal.

"Well if you're really into this whole filming thing, you're gonna need a good camera anyway," James persuaded, changing the subject.

"That one's not even an option. I don't have $6,000."

"Then save what you have and I'll pay for it," James reasoned. Immediately Logan's eyes hardened and he shook his head. He was NOT impressed with James flaunting his money and did NOT appreciate it.

"Forget it," he said coldly. James went back and picked the expensive professional camera back up, bringing it to Logan.

"Just hold it," he reasoned. Logan's eyes rose angrily to James's, but took it in his hands anyway. It was a nice camera, and he would love to have it, but he wouldn't feel right spending that kind of money on anything.

"I want you to film me with this," James begged, melting Logan's icy demeanor.

"Let's look somewhere else… This place is too expensive," Logan said quietly as he returned the camera to where it belonged.

"If you're gonna be like that, I'll just buy it for myself," James said pompously. "And you can borrow it for the movie."

Logan stared at him with his arms crossed, but when James held his ground he sighed.

"Okay, fine. But it's yours. Not mine," Logan gave in.

"Of course," James smiled, putting the model back and leading Logan up to the counter with an arm around his waist. Logan guessed that wasn't a bad thing to do- things were just different in California and James just wasn't used to people in Minnesota liking their space.

* * *

Logan could feel James staring at him as he set up all the equipment- JAMES'S beautiful new video camera on Logan's new tripod, the clip-on microphones syncing to the software, charging the battery packs… And when he would look up, James would just keep staring with that dreamy smirk on his face.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Logan finally asked nervously.

"I dunno… You're just so fascinating. The way you know how to do all that techy stuff," James shrugged, shifting to lie on his stomach on Logan's bed, his head resting peacefully on his folded elbow. "That's just really hot, I guess. A man who knows stuff like that."

Logan paused and looked up at the guy, face twisted in disbelief.

"You don't believe me?" James laughed. "It's true. I spent my teen years at summer school and tutor sessions, and all I got out of it was that I really liked my tutors. Nerds."

Logan snorted and rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"It's true. Not that you're a nerd."

"I am, it's okay."

James watched Logan some more, but when Logan finally finished and said "Okay, we're ready to rumble-" James was fast asleep. His mouth was open and drool was dripping onto the blankets, James's arms curled beneath his body for warmth. Logan smirked and draped a blanket over him before turning out the lights and going to the kitchen for something to eat.

He couldn't believe that just this morning James was still almost a stranger, and just two seconds ago Logan had covered him up and turned out the lights so he could sleep peacefully, not even caring that he was drooling on his bed. James's straight-forward and friendly nature really seemed to speed up the development of Logan's trust, and he had to admit he was having fun. Especially from hearing that he was a hot nerd.

He spent some time with a bag of baby carrots on the couch, watching TV. Rose and Joanna had gone out shopping, leaving the boys home alone. After about twenty minutes of Logan sitting alone, James came stumbling in, rubbing his eyes and pushing back his hair sleepily. The camera was in one of his hands.

"Sorry," James laughed a little, bashful that he fell asleep. He sat the camera on the coffee table and turned it on, wanting to maybe capture some candid shots, and Logan thanked him for that. James sat beside him, draping his legs casually over Logan's lap and lying against the arm of the couch. His cheek nestled up against the cushion and he closed his eyes again.

"Do you really like baby carrots?" he asked, eyes still closed. Logan looked down at the bag of carrots in his hand and twisted his lips. He really hated carrots, but… "Do you?"

"Not really. But they're good for you," Logan answered honestly. When he looked over again it was to see James's eyes open and looking at him lazily.

"Stop starving yourself and eat some chips like a normal 17-year-old boy," James prodded.

"I'm eighteen, actually," Logan said simply. "And there's nothing wrong with eating healthy."

"You're eighteen? You don't look it."

"It's all the extra weight- it makes me look young," Logan scowled.

"Logan, for God's sake-" James began, but just groaned and sat up, putting an arm on the cushion right behind Logan's head, arm brushing his hair, his legs still in Logan's lap. "You look perfectly average to me. I mean weight-wise. You're definitely not average in general, but- I mean, you're not fat, you're not husky, you're not even chubby."

Logan looked doubtfully over to his friend, shrugging.

"And anyway, it's not that that makes you look young. It's the innocence in your eyes," James continued.

"I'm not innocent," Logan tried to convince.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I've done everything you have," Logan retorted. "Just not with a girl."

"With who?"

"Kendall."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter, we still did all that stuff."

Logan didn't know why he was trying so hard to convince James he wasn't innocent. Maybe it was because James was so far from innocent, and in Logan's mind he would never go for someone so inexperienced.

"But you two did it out of love," James corrected. "That's the difference."

"And why is that any different?"

"Because when you did it with him, you were making love. You were sucking him off to make him enjoy himself. You were kissing him because you loved him and it intensified everything."

Logan just continued with his carrots, gazing over at James.

"But when I do it with a guy, it's just fucking. I suck him off in hopes that he'll do the same to me. And I kiss him because I'm desperate for any kind of real intimacy with another person," James continued.

"That's sad," Logan said sincerely.

"I know it is," James nodded. "And I'd give anything to make love, you know? To have someone really love me enough to make sex magic for me. You're so lucky to have experienced that so young."

"So just because I've made love, I look young?"

"I don't know. It's something special in your face, or maybe your body language. You don't seem to have that confidence of a grown man, you know, how they're always so sure of every move? You're just so timid in everything you do- I can see it."

"I'm not timid."

"You are. And it's because you're so hurt."

Logan scoffed over at James, rolling his eyes. What did James know about any of this anyway?

"It's okay, Logan. I don't move like a man, either."

"Please. You're all man."

"No, because I have nothing, or no one, to live for. Men have purpose."

"You think too hard about things," Logan chuckled. "Make it too difficult. If I've learned anything from losing Kendall, it's that you have to just stop feeling sometimes and just be alive."

"That's how I was my whole life. Until I met you. And now I'm kind of different."

Finally Logan looked over at James, giving him his full attention. James smiled a little, resting his head on the couch cushion cutely. He wasn't trying to be cute, but Logan just found it adorable. All he could do was rest his head on the cushion as well, just staring into his eyes.

"Like, I've never been so okay with just sitting and staring at someone like this," James said softly. "I usually can't sit still this long."

Logan cracked a smirk and James flashed a dazzling grin.

"How's school going? You're a senior, right?" James asked.

"Yeah, I am," Logan shrugged. "You know how high school is. It's just school. Been going my whole life. Except now I have an ex that I see in the hallway that won't even look at me."

"Why won't he look at you?"

Logan just shrugged, looking away. He remembers all the times he passes Kendall in the hall, looking up hopefully to catch his eyes, but finding Kendall purposefully looking the other way. Even when they had bumped into each other one day Kendall had just said "Oh, sorry," and went on, when previously he would have smirked at Logan and maybe dragged a seductive hand across his body in apology.

"Do you have a lot of friends?" James asked.

"No, not really. I'm more of a one-best-friend kind of person, and Kendall was that best friend."

"That's kind of how I am too," James smiled. "I have this friend, Carlos. He's a model, too. So hot. But so straight. Other than him, I mean I have buddies but not really anyone I would hang out with."

"Exactly."

"Nothing wrong with that."

"And lately there's been all this hype about prom, and I hate it," Logan grumbled.

"Of course you hate it. I would have expected that."

"Well I'm not going."

"Why? I bet it's fun- I never went, but I bet you'd like it."

"It was fun last year, when I had a date," Logan sighed. "But if I went this year, I couldn't handle seeing Kendall look that good, possibly take someone else…"

"Don't miss out on your senior prom just over him. C'mon, Logan."

"I don't have any friends I would want to go with."

He really didn't want to go- he thought it would be a drag and really couldn't handle seeing Kendall look so damn hot in his tuxedo. Besides, like he just said, he had nobody to go with.

"What if I go with you?" James begged, catching Logan's attention and making Logan roll his eyes with a laugh. "No, really. I love, love, LOVE dancing, and getting all dolled up. And can you imagine-" James's face neared Logan's, a scandalous smile playing across his lips, "Kendall's face when he sees you with me?"

"You're crazy. He doesn't care who I go with."

"Maybe not now. But when he sees you with someone hotter than him… It'll drive him nuts. Guaranteed. It doesn't even matter if he takes a date, he'll only be focusing on us."

Logan had to admit, it was tempting. He knew James would make any boring event fun, but he WOULD also love to see Kendall's face when he sees Logan's date. The tall, handsome, charming model from California with his sun kissed skin, his hard body, and his seductive eyes.

"Plus maybe I can fit in a little… Talk… With him."

"James," Logan warned.

"C'mon, Logan. It'll be so fun," James begged. "Do it for me. I've been dying to dance since I got back home, and I've never been to a prom before. When is it?"

"Next weekend."

"Next- okay. A little soon, but okay."

"Exactly. We couldn't- we don't have tuxedos or anything."

"I have a tuxedo. Are you kidding? And we can definitely figure something out for you."

Logan stared into James's eyes, not wanting to give in but at the same time wanting so bad to show up at prom with this hunk. He opened his mouth to say an answer that he couldn't decide on, but before he could James hugged him hard and kissed his cheek.

"Yay! It'll be so fun. We'll be the hottest couple there!"

"Yeah, yeah," Logan chuckled.

"Thank you so much, Logan," James said sincerely, and Logan looked over at him to find their noses an inch apart. "I'm really excited."

"Me, too," Logan smiled, but then their gaze held for too long and he was afraid that James would try to kiss him, so he laughed bashfully and turned back to the TV.

"I want to personally tell him that I'm a model," James said, half to himself, as he lay back again and smiled excitedly.

"Speaking of that," Logan began. "Tell me what you're hiding about your career."

"Not yet," James said, mood changing to a slightly gloomier one.

"Come on, James. I let you kiss me. I think we're close enough. You're gonna have to reveal it for the movie soon anyway."

"I guess…" James sighed, pulling out his phone. "I'll just show you. It'll be more fun that way."

Logan was eagerly watching him search his phone for his pictures. He was excited to see what the big secret was.

James was showing him a picture now- it was just a normal picture, James wearing tight jeans with no shirt, dripping wet. Okay, it was a sexy picture, but nothing to be secretive about.

Logan took the phone and started to swipe through the pictures.

"Logan, you really shouldn't-" James started to protest, reaching for the phone. But all these pictures were just shirtless, or in boxers at most. They were definitely hot, but Logan didn't see what the big deal was.

But then there was one with James naked, one girl covering his privates with a hand and dragging her tongue over James's ribs, another girl practically wrapped around his leg looking up at him seductively with his hand in her hair, and a last girl clutched in his arm, which was covering her nipples. James seemed to look through the camera with that smoldering gaze present in all his pictures, right at the viewer. Right into Logan's eyes.

Logan went a deep shade of red and looked up at James, who was waiting on a reaction.

"Wow… Those girls are… Close."

"Oh, that one," James chuckled nervously. "That was a fun shoot. Hey, maybe that's enough for one day?"

But Logan just swiped to the next picture and jumped, immediately handing the phone back to James and covering his eyes. It was too late, though. The image was etched into his brain.

The image of James lying back on a bed, fully naked, one hand behind his head and the other running over his greased up abs. His hazel eyes were smoldering as usual, but his mouth was shaped in a sexy smirk. Like he was saying "I know that my dick is out and fully erect, but I don't mind if you stare."

And that dick… Didn't look anything like Logan's or Kendall's. It was so much bigger in length and thickness.

And that body didn't look like any he'd seen before.

Logan realized that his pants were tight now and James was probably staring, and he quickly got up and turned the camera off.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Logan said, not turning around to expose the bulge in his pants or the burning blush over his whole body. He hurried through the door and into the hallway, then into the bathroom where he didn't close the door. He just stared at himself, willing his hormones to calm down. He ran his hands under the cold water, enjoying the coolness because his hands were clammy from just being around James for so long.

But then James was in the doorway, looking nervously at him.

"Now you know why I was afraid for you to know," he said. "You're repulsed, aren't you?"

"No, I just… Wasn't expecting that."

"I know. And honestly I don't mind everyone else seeing, but I wanted you- Nevermind."

The pitiful look in his eyes through the mirror showed that James wanted to say "I wanted you to see me for the first time in real life, at the same moment I saw you."

"So why did you cover your eyes and run away?" James asked.

"I was just surprised. I wasn't expecting it. I guess it's just the natural response to accidentally seeing someone naked."

"You liked it, though," James smirked proudly, slowly fading from his gloomy demeanor.

"Why do you think that?" Logan retorted.

"Because it got you hot."

Logan's face heated up again and he was suddenly embarrassed and angry.

James stepped behind him, his chest touching the smaller boy's shoulder blades in the limited space, as his hands reached up to pick at his hair. He had a proud smirk on his face, knowing he was driving Logan crazy with the contact.

"You don't think I know all the telltale signs of a guy wanting me?" James asked casually. "Oh, Logan. You really are cute."

Embarrassed and a little angry, Logan exited the bathroom in a huff. He couldn't figure James out- two minutes ago he was calm and a little bashful, and now he was being seductive and almost condescending.

"I only bring it up because it excites me," James called as Logan turned off the camera and picked it up off the coffee table. James followed him into his bedroom, leaning on the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. "I'm getting under your skin, you know."

"You are not," Logan huffed.

"Well," James sighed after a minute. "I guess I overstayed my welcome. We'll go tux shopping tomorrow."

"I have school," Logan grumbled, plugging the camera into the computer to download the footage he just got in the living room. He didn't want James to leave, but he needed to cool down and try to get himself under control about him.

"Damn," James sighed. "Okay, well no matter what I'll see you tomorrow."

When Logan said nothing and didn't turn around, James just approached him from behind and kissed his cheek, touching his shoulder in the process.

"Keep my camera here until we're done, will you?"

"Yeah, I need to download what we got."

"Rad. Hey, I'm sorry I freaked you out," he said softly, squeezing Logan's shoulder. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Logan said, finally looking over at him in fairwell.


	4. Chapter 4

"I know it's been a while," Logan chuckled into his webcam, posting on his blog for the first time in days. He logged on to find many worried or eager comments on his page, some people theorizing that he finally went over the edge and ended it all… That was how often Logan used to blog. But nowadays he was distracted.

"No, I didn't kill myself. Whoever thinks I'm brave enough for that must be crazy. I just met a guy- I know what you're thinking, but it's not like that. He was a childhood friend, and his name is James. He's a model. Check it out-" Logan noted that he needed to pull up that hot picture of James with the girls all over him for the viewers when he edited the video. "Yeah, hot, right? Well, I'm doing a documentary about him, so I've been a little busy. He's going to prom with me- I really didn't want to go, but… I guess he just talked me into it."

Logan lowered his eyes and laughed at himself, rolling his eyes. He realized he was blushing and smiling like an idiot. He was making it seem like he and James were a fling, like James was his new boyfriend or something. He didn't know why he was smiling like this.

"But it's nice to be distracted with this new documentary, and James is fun to hang around. I think he likes me. Well, he acts like he does. But maybe that's just how people act in California. He's always kissing my cheek and calling me cute… Stuff like that. Is that normal? Anyway, it's like 2 AM, but I just wanted to tell all of you that I'm NOT dead. I'll update when I can."

With that he gave a little smile and wave before turning the camera off.

He decided he was too tired to edit the clip now, he would post it tomorrow night. He closed his laptop before feeling through the pitch darkness to his bed, stubbing his toe on the way, and collapsing on the blankets. Instead of cursing and getting mad at the darkness, or the bed, or his stupid toe, he just laughed and snuggled into the blanket, rubbing his foot.

He settled into bed and stared at the dark ceiling. Like it always did, Logan's mind wondered, and this time it was to a memory he had with Kendall in the pitch darkness like this. It was a happy memory, and he found that when he thought about it, it didn't hurt. It just made him feel happy to have the memory at all.

 _Kendall had climbed in through the window and drawn the shades, creating a complete blindfold for both he and Logan in the bedroom. Although they couldn't see each other, it was like they were magnetized to one another's body heat._

 _"Took you long enough," Logan whispered, finding his boyfriend and pulling his body to him. Kendall's mouth felt up to Logan's face and found his lips, kissing hungrily. Every sensation was intensified with no sights to focus on, only what they felt._

 _Logan lifted his boyfriend's shirt over his head, then his own, before their lips met again. Kendall was shoved down onto the bed, Logan straddling him as they kissed._

 _"God, you're hot," Kendall whispered between kisses, holding Logan firmly like he was afraid he was float away. "I love you."_

 _"I love you, too," Logan whispered back, smiling against Kendall's lips before he kissed his stubbly chin, down to his neck, then his chest, where he left a little hickey. As Logan sucked on is skin, Kendall breathed out hard and lightly gripped Logan's hair._

 _In his mind's eye, Logan looked up to see the satisfaction on Kendall's face, like he had in real life, except it was James's face there, James's body beneath his._

 _James bit his lip with a smile and sat up to meet Logan's lips again, holding his jaw with one hand as he slid his tongue into his mouth. His big hands moved to grip Logan's ass firmly, yet lovingly, and his warm lips moved to Logan's neck, making the smaller boy whimper as he sucked and bit teasingly._

 _"I want you," James whispered, breath steamy against Logan's skin._

 _"Take me."_

 _With that, James easily lifted Logan and lay him gingerly on the bed, sliding his body over his and kissing him again. His hand snaked between their bodies and into Logan's pants, finally gripping him._

Logan's eyes snapped open, his heart beating in his throat and his dick throbbing.

This was wrong. He shouldn't think about James that way, even if James provoked it. They should have a professional relationship, and that's it.

But five minutes later Logan found himself on the internet looking at more of James's photos, only worsening his desire.

There was one in particular that got Logan's attention especially.

James was lying naked on his back in a bed with his mouth framed by a sexy stubbly goatee, a naked Latino-looking man over him. The Latino's right leg was between James's, one hand in James's hair, the other on James's abs. His eyes were downcast as he was biting and pulling down on James's bottom lip, James's eyes down on him with a look of pure arousal. His dick was pressed between their abs, and the Latino's was out of view. One arm was above his head, one snaked around the Latino with his hand squeezing his ass.

Logan decided he liked the picture, as a gay man, and suppressed the feelings of wanting to BE that Latino climbing all over James, tasting James, feeling James. He wondered what else the two of them had to do for that shoot… He clicked on the link, a little afraid to see any others from that series, but it seemed to be only that one. _James Diamond and Carlos Garcia: Passion._ That's what the photo was called.

Carlos Garcia… James's best friend? The one James mentioned that day that James said was "so hot, but so straight"? Gosh, this Carlos guy must be an amazing model if he's "so straight" but gave off this illusion of such passion and arousal for another man, let another man's dick touch him, and bit on another man's lip like that. Logan guessed Carlos was just a prop in the picture, anyway, but still. He must be amazing.

Logan burst into quiet laughter, rubbing his eyes in a bit of embarrassment, deciding he would tease James about it later… Wait, he couldn't. James wouldn't like to know that Logan looked at all his pictures…

Thinking about the whole situation, Logan lay his head in his hands. His smile soon faded, as did his consciousness, and he slept the whole night at his desk.

* * *

The next day Logan was sitting in the back of his Chemistry class, absently staring at that familiar head from behind. Kendall was sitting a few rows ahead of him, taking close notes of what the teacher was saying. Yarn bracelets littered his wrists and his jeans were ripped. Reminders were written on his hand, and his dirty Vans were crossed below his seat, in the only feminine gesture the guy ever showed. He was completely oblivious to Logan staring at him.

"Mr. Bailey?" a feminine voice asked over the intercom, snapping Logan from his trance. "Logan Mitchell needs to sign out, please."

Logan bunched up his brows and stood. The only time he had ever been signed out of school was when his grandfather died unexpectedly. Otherwise, his mother always scheduled all appointments for after school. This caused a great anxiety in Logan: did something bad happen? He hadn't gotten any texts from his mom to tell him what was happening or where he should drive once he signed out…

As he walked down the row, he took one last glance at the back of Kendall's head. Except it wasn't the back of his head, it was his face. Looking up at him in worry, since he knew it was unusual for Logan to be signed out of school. Logan blushed and looked away, slipping past and out of the class.

He entered the office, expecting the office lady to be ready with a sorry explanation and his mom on the phone, or at least instructions from his mom on where to go. Maybe even his mom waiting for him…

But instead he found James there, sitting in one of the chairs, looking distraught and worried. Logan looked around, brows bunched.

"What happened?" he asked, hurrying to James. He had never seen this expression on that beautiful face. "Did mom send you here for me? Is she okay? What's going on?"

"It's Grandpa," James said, standing up, such worry and sadness in his eyes. Logan's mind scrambled- what was going on here? He didn't know his dad's grandpa, and as previously explained, his other grandpa was already dead. "He's not doing so well… Your mom wanted me to come get you so you can say goodbye."

Logan opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but then James engulfed him in a tight hug.

"You boys do what you need to do for your grandfather," the office lady said sympathetically.

"Thanks, miss," James said, letting Logan go. "Let's go, cuz."

At this point Logan got that James was up to something and just kept his mouth shut as James led him out of the office and to the parking lot.

"What the hell is going on?" Logan hissed.

"We're going prom shopping," James smiled charmingly, taking Logan beneath his arm casually as they walked toward Logan's car.

"What did you tell her?"

"I said I was your cousin and our grandpa was dying."

"I'll have you know my grandpa's already dead."

"I'm sorry for that, then," James said.

"I really thought something was wrong. You're a good actor."

"I'm a model, sweetheart," James smiled as Logan unlocked the passenger door for him and he got in. "I act like I want to fuck a camera. I convince my dick that I'm aroused by even the bitchiest people. I'm an actor, really."

That reminded Logan of the picture he saw the night before, with Carlos. He thought about bringing it up, but again decided James probably wouldn't like that he looked him up further. He would probably assume Logan touched himself while looking at the photos, which he didn't.

"How did you get here?" he asked instead as he got in the car and turned it on.

"I actually hitchhiked."

"What?" Logan squeaked, looking over at his friend. "James! You could have been murdered!"

"Oh, please. I can protect myself," James reasoned. "It was a little old lady, anyway. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and five bucks. She was happy."

Logan rolled his eyes, shaking his head. James really was naïve about how things were in Minnesota.

"Are you WORRIED about me?" James teased.

"No. Like you said, you can protect yourself."

James settled back in his seat smugly, putting his hand on the headrest of Logan's seat as they pulled out of the parking lot. It was then that Logan realized that before James left last night he was mad at him. James obviously moved past it and decided not to give it anymore attention, and how could Logan be mad when he looked up more pictures of James last night anyway? He decided to move past it, too, because James DID work so hard to hang out with him.

"Did I pull you out of anything interesting?" James asked, resting his right ankle on his left knee. It was difficult, since his legs were so long and the car was so confined.

"Just Chemistry. It's easy."

"Chemistry… I think I failed that class twice," James recalled. "And I know what you're thinking: I just wasn't trying. And I wasn't. But I really did try to get it there at the end, and I just couldn't."

"Well, I used to tutor Kendall at Chemistry," Logan shrugged. "It's not hard for me."

James studied Logan for a minute, and Logan pretended not to notice.

"Do you think he's failing now without his cute little tutor?" James finally asked teasingly.

"I'm worried that he is," Logan admitted, remembering how vigorously Kendall was taking notes in the class just five minutes ago, how perplexed he looked.

"Don't be. He deserves it," James said dismissively.

* * *

Logan sat impatiently outside of the third dressing room in the row, which James just disappeared into with a prom tuxedo to try on. Although they had already been there an hour for Logan's own tuxedo and James already had a suit, one had caught James's eye and he HAD to try it on.

"Are you coming?" James asked, poking his head through the curtain.

"Me? Why?"

"To film me!"

"I thought we would just leave the whole prom thing out," Logan reasoned. "We don't need to film."

"Please? I DO shop a lot, you know. It's part of my real life. Come on."

With that, James pulled Logan in and sat him in the chair inside. Logan reluctantly got out his video camera, feeling weird about being there, FILMING James as he changed. He set the camera up on the shelf and pressed "record".

"You're not mad, are you?" James asked, taking off his leather jacket. "That I wanted to try this on?"

Logan opened his mouth to say yes, he was a little impatient, and a little mad that James pulled him out of school and now he might get in trouble, but then James pulled his shirt over his head and all thoughts were lost. He just sat there with his mouth hanging open, eyes on those golden abs, the firm pecks, and that V-muscle running down toward his groin. James's right hand ran through his hair and his left casually brushed at his chest, which was freshly shaven now, but there was still a little line of dark hair running from his belly button into his pants.

There was no doubt that he knew that Logan was gawking at him.

"What do you think?" James asked, staring at himself vainly in the mirror and flexing a little, liking what he saw.

"About what?" Logan said dumbly.

"Wanna feel?"

But before Logan could ask again what he was supposed to feel, James had grabbed his hand and pressed it to his abs. At first Logan tried to pull away, but James just held him there, smirking in satisfaction.

Logan was practically drooling.

"You have muscles on your RIBS," he found himself saying. James's skin must have been about 100 degrees and extremely soft, the muscle beneath hard even when relaxed. James just chuckled and dropped his hand, moving back to the mirror and dropping his pants, revealing black boxers. From behind, Logan could see deep dimples digging into his lower back, and more muscles extending when he moved.

"What, Kendall didn't have a body like this?" James asked over his shoulder, pulling his boxers up a little from where they had slipped a little.

"He was hot, don't get me wrong but-" Logan blushed, mortified that he was about to call James hot to his face.

"But I'm hotter," James smirked.

Logan was just glad James hadn't been there when HE was changing. He would probably be repulsed by his body.

Soon that muscular body was covered by a tuxedo, James fumbling with his tie.

"I can never do the tie," James whined. "Logan?"

"I can only do it on myself."

"Then I guess you'll have to get behind me," James said lowly with a little smirk. "Don't worry, shorty, I'll bend down for you."

Blushing, Logan stood and James bent his knees to allow the shorter boy to reach around his neck and tie the tie through the mirror.

"How did you learn to do this?" James asked, watching Logan's fingers work.

"I pick things up quickly," Logan said softly, knowing James was just inches away and could hear fine. He liked the way James watched meticulously, trying to memorize how it was done. He had a feeling, though, that James had tried many times but failed. He bet he had to wear tuxedos all the time.

Well, usually he wore nothing.

The image of James and that Latino flashed through his mind and a wave of arousal practically suffocated him. He backed off and James stood straight, groaning at his aching thighs now. He tightened the tie and buttoned his jacket, looking at himself in satisfaction.

"How do I look?" he asked, a brow cocked at himself.

"I like it," Logan said.

"Yeah, you're right, it sucks," James sighed, face falling boredly. "Ah, well."

"I didn't say it sucks."

"But it does, trust me. It's not tight enough. I like everyone to be able to see my shape, but this just isn't the right fit."

"Sh-shape?" Logan stammered. James turned around quickly, giving Logan a sly smile.

"You dog. I mean my BODY shape," he smirked. "Only one guy can see my DICK shape on prom night. If he wants."

He gave a flirty wink and removed the jacket, keeping eye contact with Logan, who gulped and turned red.

"About that," Logan said. "You know, maybe we should keep this professional. Between a cameraman and a subject. You know?"

James's poker face was strong as he turned away. "You don't like me?"

"No, I don't like you like that."

Even to Logan it sounded like a lie, and Logan thought it was true.

James was quiet as he unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. After hanging it up, he turned to Logan, eyes dark with some kind of seduction.

"Oh really?" he asked lowly, getting closer and closer. Logan gulped, and suddenly he was trapped against the wall. "Then tell me to stop, if you don't like me LIKE THAT."

He was giving Logan that soldering gaze that he used in his pictures, his hand running slowly up Logan's chest and into his hair. His other hand slid down Logan's body, and around to the back side of his hip. Not quite cupping his ass, but just teasing him.

"Tell me to stop," James whispered seductively in Logan's ear, which he let his nose brush against teasingly before he bent his neck more to place a steamy kiss on Logan's jaw.

Logan opened his mouth to stop him, but his heart was in his throat and nothing would come out. His hands were pressed against the wall behind him, but they were melting now.

Then his hip was being pulled, and their crotches were pressed together. Feeling how aroused Logan was, James looked up at him with dark eyes and smiled, biting his lip. Logan looked away with shame, but James just kissed his jaw again and pressed his crotch against Logan again, showing him that he, too, was equally aroused.

He craned his neck a little to catch Logan's eyes and then Logan's head was being pulled.

Pulled…

Pulled toward James's. For a kiss. On the mouth.

"Stop!" Logan was suddenly jerking back and slipping away. He wanted to leave, but James was in front of the door. "Stop, stop st-"

He turned away, heart beating rapidly and his face burning. He fanned his shirt to cool himself and he sat down, still facing away.

When he finally gathered himself, he looked over to see James fully dressed, casually slipping his pants on over his erection, adjusting it gently before zipping the jeans up.

"I don't mean to hurt your feelings," Logan finally said. James just averted his eyes to the hanging suit, which he was adjusting on the hanger.

"It's okay, Logan," he said simply. "But I'm saying 'no' to your 'professional relationship' proposal." He picked up the suit and swung it over his shoulder, going toward the door of the dressing room. "One thing I AM good at is persistence, you know." He whispered this in Logan's ear. "And I always get what I want." With this line, James squeezed Logan's ass gently before giving it a little tap, and he exited without a backward glance.

Logan picked up the camera and turned it off, hurrying out. As he followed and James charmingly explained to the clerk that he wasn't interested, Logan thought. That whole situation in the dressing room hadn't given him flashbacks to his days with Kendall or make his heart hurt. And then he realized it was because Kendall never touched him like that. Of course Kendall was gentle and loving, but Logan had never been touched with such sexual intensity before.

James waited for him before exiting, an arm wrapping around Logan's waist. When Logan gave him a confused look, James just smirked knowingly and pulled Logan closer. He had claimed Logan. He knew that the feelings were mutual, and he wasn't letting Logan go.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks o everyone who has reviewed, liked, subscribed, PMed, and read! This is an exciting chapter and I'm so excited to keep writing this. I think you'll really like this one, especially if you're impatient for this whole Jagan thing to start!**

 **Once again, thank you so much for reading. Enjoy!**

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As his new tan set in, James decided to also get his hair trimmed, like he had to every few weeks to keep his short hairstyle. He suggested that Logan also get a trim, but when Logan was seated in his chair and his cape was put on, James suggested a little more than a trim.

"I was thinking, take all this off," James said, running his hands across the sides of Logan's hair. "Short, maybe a little fade as you go down…" The hair stylist watched with intense eyes, her scissors tapping against her lips in interest. "But maybe keep all this-" he ran his hands through the top of Logan's hair, nobody but Logan knowing how sensual he was touching him, "the same length. Don't you think he'd look so hot with it styled a little up, slicked back?"

"Gorgeous," she agreed. "I've been cutting Logan's hair for years, and I've been trying to get him to do something new."

"There's a reason I didn't want to," Logan protested.

"Oh, hush. I know what's in style," James said dismissively, running his hand one last time through Logan's hair to eliminate anymore doubts and sat in his own chair beside him, where the camera was set up on the vanity table pointed his way to capture his beauty routine.

A guy named Devon cut James's hair. Of course Devon had platinum-blonde and purple hair, a lip ring, and practically sang everything he said, and while Logan hated to profile, he knew how gay Devon was the moment he called James "yummy."

James hardly looked at himself in the mirror as his hair was cut, but kept his eyes on Logan the whole time. Both he and Logan watched as entire dark locks floated to the floor from Logan's head, leaving hair so short you could see his scalp beneath. Anxiety cramped Logan's stomach. He hated change, and he was afraid this haircut was too trendy for him. He liked to play things safe, and his old haircut was safe.

"I swear to God I've seen you somewhere," Devon said, stopping his work to stare at James in the mirror. "You look so darn familiar."

James shot Logan a sly smile through the mirror, which made Logan have to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Yeah, Devon had seen James somewhere: naked on the internet, or maybe in a magazine.

"I'm a model," James admitted. Devon stared some more, his eyes squinting a little as his head cocked in thought. Suddenly it hit him and his mouth dropped open, a fingernail-polished hand shooting to cover it in embarrassment.

Logan burst into laughter, and James beamed over at him, a grin on his face, too.

"Well, then I can't fuck up this haircut, can I?" Devon chuckled, still blushing, as he went back to work.

James was finished long before Logan, but since there were no customers waiting he just turned his own chair to face him and watch.

"Don't look so nervous, Logan," he teased, catching Logan's eyes in the mirror. "She's gonna do you up nice."

"My hair's never been this short," Logan answered.

"It'll make you look so much more mature," the hair stylist said as she cut. "You already look five years older."

After a while he had James standing between his legs, his warm fingers combing through his hair as he fixed it up with gel. The stylists purred in approval, loving the haircut, but Logan was nervous to see it.

Finally, with the final flick of a comb, they all stood back and smiled at him. James took his hand and helped him up, leading him to the mirror.

At first Logan didn't recognize himself. His face looked so much more defined, his hair made up away from his face and shorter than ever on the sides. When he realized it was, in fact, his own reflection, he was suddenly overcome with pride.

For the first time, Logan looked at himself and thought he looked handsome. James grinned at him, standing behind him with his hand on Logan's shoulder, waiting for a reaction.

"What do you think?" he asked

Logan opened his mouth to speak, and caught sight of his jawbone, which was accentuated by his short sideburns and crisply shaven hairline. He looked… So good. And he never thought that about himself.

"Awe," James whimpered pitifully, turning Logan to him and hugging him tenderly. "Don't cry. Do you hate it? I'm sorry, don't cry, we can fix it. Whatever you want."

Logan wasn't crying, but he felt like he might. He hugged James back for a second, then pulled away enough to look up at him.

"I love it," he said softly. "I never thought that I was good-looking before now."

"I told you," James smiled in relief. "You're damn sexy, if you could just see it for yourself."

Logan turned around and looked at himself again, this time seeing James in the background, too. For the first time, Logan was confident enough in himself to think, "Maybe James WOULD go for someone like me, now that I look like this."

* * *

As the two walked down the sidewalk and into the sportsbar, Logan couldn't help but hold his head up higher and watched as people glanced at him in interest.

When they arrived, the waitress asked if they wanted a seat at the bar. Logan was a little flattered that she thought he looked at least 21. It was the first time that he realized that James had been old enough to drink for two years now, and Logan was still three years away from it.

They were seated and James immediately lounged in the booth across from him, looking around with interest.

After they got their drinks, Logan rested his chin on his knuckles, trying to look cool and collected, but also like he was absorbed in the atmosphere. Then he realized he probably looked stupid and sat back again.

After a minute's hesitation, Logan's foot tapped against James's under the table and rested just beside it, touching it. James just kept watching the baseball game, and Logan pulled his foot away.

"You're so funny, Logan," James chuckled, his eyes now on Logan. His feet reached out to capture Logan's flirtatiously.

"Why?"

"You're so much more confident in yourself now, but you don't know if you SHOULD be," James analyzed. "You realized you're hot shit, but you think maybe you really aren't and you're fooling yourself."

"I don't know what to think right now."

"Well, let me tell you," James said, lowering his voice and moving in a little. "There's a table of girls about MY age right against that wall to your left, and they keep glancing over here."

"Did you ever think they were looking at YOU?" Logan chuckled, not believing for a minute that twenty-something year-old girls were checking him out over the Playgirl model across from him. "Maybe they recognized you, like your hairstylist did."

James chuckled and shook his head.

"No. I keep looking over there and they don't even look away. When a girl is checking me out and I look their way, they either stop staring really fast or they wink or something," James explained. "These girls don't even notice me."

Logan curiously turned around to see what table James was talking about, and immediately every girl sitting there quickly looked down at their menus, their gazes averting from him.

"What did I tell you?" James smirked. "Now scoot, I'm coming over."

Before Logan could question it, James was sitting beside him in the booth and he had to scoot over. James's arm slid over his shoulders, his body as close as possible, and he kissed Logan's cheek.

Logan's stomach turned over when he realized that James was claiming his territory for the girls to see. He didn't know if he loved that or hated it. He may have hated it because he WASN'T James's territory, after all. But then again, Logan wasn't interested in the girls at all, and he liked the close contact.

"If you want to go talk to them," Logan said simply. "It's okay. I know you're dying to get some tail since you've been here."

James was silent, and Logan was stunned to look over and see those hazel eyes boring into his. James was suddenly very serious.

"I'm not dying for anything they have," he said.

"But… Their boobs are out on display for you… And-"

"Don't you get it?" James chuckled a little, an undertone of irritation through his smile. "I'm here for YOU."

"Why?" Logan asked seriously. James just stared at him, smiling a little, and his other hand reached up to smooth one of those black hairs into place. "You could have anyone you want. Why would you decide to go for someone who takes so much effort, who may not even be interested?"

James's eyes flicked to Logan's lips, then back to his eyes, as his fingers trailed from his hair to his jaw, then dropped.

"I don't know," he said softly. "I love the way I feel around you."

"How do you feel?" Logan asked through is trance.

"Like every time I touch you… My heart leaps and my arms get hot. Like it's such a thrill just to have my arm over your shoulders. And any time you look at me like you are now, I can feel my heart in my throat. Right here-" he touched the hollow of his throat. "I'd do anything to get any reaction out of you."

Logan realized that he HAD been feeling that new, almost superficial type of infatuation with James, too.

"A crush?" he chuckled.

"Is that what a crush is?" James smiled. "I guess I've never had a real crush on someone, past sex."

"Do you really feel all that stuff?" Logan asked doubtfully, looking down at his fingers on the table. "You're so charming and confident, there's no way you're nervous around me."

"I am. My fingertips tingle when I think I'm gonna make a move. And so sometimes I chicken out. But then sometimes I DO make a move, and my heart swells up and I want to cry with happiness. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"I know the feeling," Logan nodded, still looking at his fingers. He expected James to ask if he felt that way for him, but James just kept silent and smiled at him. It was unlike him not to be so up-front, but he could probably see in Logan's face just how interested he was.

* * *

"So tell me about being a model," Logan said, lying on his side on James's bed, the camera set up beside him and focused on James sitting on the floor, who was supporting his weight on one hand and the other was playing with the dogtags again.

"It's the life," James smiled. "I love it so much."

"Give me a summary… Of the average day of your life."

"I'm assuming you want a working day?"

"What do you mean?"

"I only work when I get called, so maybe a few times a week."

"Okay, yeah. A working day, then."

"Well I wake up at about five-thirty to get a workout in before the shoot. Normally I would work out whenever I felt like it, but sometimes I have to make time. After I work out and shower, I go to the shoot and they do my hair and makeup. They'll usually tell me beforehand how much facial hair I should have. Sometimes they want me clean-shaven, sometimes they want a little sexy stubble, sometimes they want a full goatee. They'll tell me how much hair I should have on my chest, my stomach, and my-" James gestured to his 'private' area. "Sometimes they'll stencil on tattoos, put fake piercings on me. Sometimes eyeliner, too. They'll do my hair like they want it and dress me up- or down- however they need. If I have a costar I usually spend this whole process with them, getting to know them a little at least."

He stopped, seeing the shock on Logan's face as he explained.

"What?" he laughed.

"I had no idea there was so much put into this kind of stuff. I mean, you have to grow out your beard for them?"

"Whatever they want," James shrugged. "It looks hot, you know."

"I can imagine."

James smirked and paused to collect his thoughts.

"And then I'll go eat and maybe go for a jog. I spend a lot of time at the beach, too. If Carlos isn't on a job he'll hang out with me. Usually he has dates, though, and I do too. But if we're both home he'll cook me something for dinner and we'll chill. We live together. Did I ever mention that?"

"No."

"Look at the jealousy in your eyes," James teased, crawling over to lean his side against the bed, head inches from Logan's. He didn't know if he was still in the frame, but neither of them even cared. "I told you he's straight as an arrow. And when we're together you'd think I am, too. We're just bros."

"I know that…" Logan said, like it was dumb to think he was jealous of Carlos. His mind flashed to the picture he saw of Carlos sucking of James's lip and wanted to bring it up.

"Don't get mad, but I was looking at some of your… work… to put into the movie. And I saw the one of you and Carlos."

"Which one?" James just snorted. This took Logan by surprise- how many were there, anyway? "I guess it doesn't really matter which one. Let me guess. His dick was hidden because it was limp as a McDonald's fry."

Thinking back, Logan realized that's exactly how it was in the picture he saw. Carlos's dick was hidden by James's leg.

"Yeah, we're booked to do shoots together all the time. We're both hot and pretty popular. It doesn't matter how straight he is, he's whatever he has to be when he's posing. Such a good actor. Except he can't keep it up when he's doing shots with guys, so they have to hide his dick."

"He was hot in the one I saw," Logan admitted. "I mean… You were, too. But the way he was biting your lip and climbing on you…"

"Oh that one," James smirked. "Yeah, imagine being on the receiving end of that. I've learned by now that I shouldn't get turned on when he's told to do that kind of thing: he's acting. But he IS really hot."

Logan was starting to think James had a real crush on Carlos, and it kind of made him jealous.

"But not my type. He's too goofy: he's just like me. Like a five-year-old. He acts like my mother sometimes, though. Like, he cooks for me sometimes and reminds me to do laundry and when my gigs are. But he likes to snuggle after he fucks."

"So?" Logan chuckled, although he was a bit relieved to hear that James saw flaws this perfect man.

"He's like me mostly: he just hooks up. Nothing serious. I could never snuggle with someone that I didn't love after a fuck. That seems too intimate. Is it? What's it like?"

James looked over hopefully at Logan, those hazel eyes innocent and curious. Logan stopped to think about exactly what it was like. He realized that he really missed it.

"Well… It's the best part," Logan said slowly. "You just lie together, naked, not caring at all that you're sweaty and nasty, just tangling together. You aren't self-conscious at all. And you lock together and kiss slowly and lovingly, on the mouth, on the face, on the nose. We'd run our nails over each other's skin. We'd whisper about new things we tried and surprising things that happened during sex. He would always fall asleep right after."

James just stared, smiling a little.

"That sounds amazing."

"It is," Logan nodded. "And I agree: it isn't something you do with mindless fucks."

James smiled fondly and lay his head sleepily on the bed.

Logan was left in the silence, thinking about those times.

Those times when Kendall would gently lie beside him, both of them breathless, flushed, and sensitive. Kendall would kiss his forehead, then his cheek, then his lips. He would give him long, soft kisses for a few minutes, then Logan would break away and Kendall would lower himself to cuddle into his chest. Logan's arms would wrap around his shoulders and they would tangle themselves together, breathing getting slower. Soon Kendall would start twitching and snoring, and Logan would keep stroking his hair to soothe him through his sleep. These were the times that Logan was sure this would last forever.

His throat tightened and Logan had to flip away from James as tears filled his eyes. His heart was empty now, and there was that depression in his stomach that made him want to throw up. He just hoped James wouldn't notice.

"Logan?" James asked softly, his hand now resting on Logan's hip. Logan wiped his eyes and nose and didn't answer. "I know you're thinking about Kendall. And how much you miss him. But you have me now."

Logan realized he was holding his breath and had to inhale finally.

"Hey," James said, nudging Logan's spine. "Cheer up."

Logan really just wanted to be left alone, like he always did when he was upset. When he didn't react, he felt James get up. Logan closed his eyes and wiped his nose, warm tears leaving an annoying trail down his nose. He hoped James had left to give him some privacy, but then he felt weight on the bed and then a body plopped clumsily down in front of him.

Logan's hands dove to cover his face as James stared at him. He had stopped crying, but he was sure his eyes were red and his face wet still.

"What can I do to cheer you up?" James asked. "Want me to try and stand on my head?"

"What?"

"Want me to take off my shirt?"

Logan peaked through his fingers to see James smiling at him, shirt still on.

"C'mon, Logan. Forget him."

"I wish I could."

James sighed softly, his body moving to get his arm beneath Logan's head, when Logan moved to allow.

"It doesn't seem fair," James said, his fingers tangling into Logan's newly cut hair. "Something so shitty shouldn't have happened to someone like you."

"Shhh," Logan shushed, his head lifting to look up at James. "Don't talk about him anymore."

James smiled a little and his other hand moved to wipe moisture from Logan's cheek, smiling calmly.

"I don't want to ever go back to Cali," he said quietly.

"You have to eventually. You can't leave home because of… ME."

"Why not? It used to be about having a crush on you… But now I see you need me. I have to help you get over that… That…" James knew Logan didn't like when he called Kendall bad names, so he stopped himself. "Kendall. I can't leave you like this."

"I'm fine."

"You're broken."

"You love your life in California," Logan said, sleepily closing his eyes.

"I do… But I'll love this life for a little longer."

"Carlos would miss you."

"He'll understand."

James was lost in thought for a while, wondering just how long he would stay here in Minnesota. He was definitely getting somewhere with Logan. Logan was finally receiving his advances and even returning them sometimes. And he didn't know until that day just how stuck on Kendall he still was… And Kendall wasn't worth a drop of Logan's innocent tears. If nothing else, James needed to get Logan over that asshole and back into real life, even if it ended in heartbreak for James.

He heard soft snores and realized that Logan had fallen asleep.

* * *

 _"Well, it's been two weeks since our break started," Kendall said, sitting on the bleachers beside Logan, who was watching the band warm up for practice. He hadn't planned on watching this, but he decided he had nothing else to do._

 _"Yeah," Logan said._

 _"I think we should just be friends," Kendall said his caramel-green eyes sorrowful on Logan's dark ones._

 _Kendall's words sent ice trickling into Logan's stomach, his throat tightening. He didn't think they needed to take a break at all. Sure, there had been some tension lately, but nothing they couldn't resolve. And now Kendall decided he didn't want to get back together?_

 _"It'll be good for you, Loge," Kendall said, sitting a foot away from Logan. "You need to focus on you."_

 _"What's that supposed to mean?"_

 _Kendall just smiled sadly and looked away._

 _"What did I do?" Logan finally asked, his voice strained._

 _"It's not you, Logan. I just don't feel the same about you anymore."_

 _Logan's face slowly turned to Kendall, his eyes full of tears. Kendall didn't look over._

 _"Feelings don't just change like that," Logan said softly. "TWO YEARS, love doesn't just disappear. Do you like someone else or something?"_

 _"No, nothing like that. And I won't like anyone else for a long time."_

 _"I was the perfect boyfriend."_

 _Logan's mind flashed to all the cheek-kisses he favored Kendall with, all the times he gave into sex any time Kendall was in the mood, all the love letters and little gifts he surprised Kendall with every day… He was the kind of boyfriend he would love to have for himself. He accepted that Kendall just wasn't a romantic, of course, but he wouldn't mind being surprised. Now that Kendall wanted to end it, he decided he would never wish for that again, if he could just have the blonde._

 _"You were. And I can't explain this," Kendall said softly, still not looking over. "Logan, I love you. But I'm not IN love with you anymore."_

 _Logan suddenly broke down in sobs, Kendall's eyes still on the band on the football field._

 _"We can still be friends," he finally said. When Logan just kept his face buried in his hands, Kendall got up and left without another word._

* * *

"Logan! Logan!"

The panicked voice broke through Logan's dreams and he woke up, gasping for air, his throat tight and his muscles shaking. James's face was there, illuminated in the dim moonlight, contorted in worry. It must be about 3 AM, and James had stripped off his own shirt and set Logan beneath the blankets. The camera was turned off and clearly James had been asleep, too.

"You're okay."

Once he saw that Logan was awake, James's face relaxed and he reached up to wipe tears from Logan's cheeks.

"I thought you were having a heart attack or something," he admitted. "What were you dreaming about?"

Logan was still panting, but had stopped crying and shaking.

"I don't remember," he said truthfully. He could tell by the dread in his stomach and tightness in his throat that he was dreaming about Kendall. "But it feels like I was dreaming about… Him."

James's eyes closed in pain and he shook his head.

"I wish he could see what he did to you," he whispered, pushing now-messy hair from Logan's forehead and planting a kiss there. "Jesus Christ… I wish he knew."

James settled back into the bed and was surprised when Logan immediately clung to him.

"I wish I could make it stop," James whispered, wrapping his arms around Logan.

"You're starting to," Logan answered. "You're distracting me from it."

James's fingers combed through Logan's newly cut hair before he placed another kiss on his head.

"I have school tomorrow," Logan whispered. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay," James assured. "Everything's okay."

Logan looked up and James gazed into his eyes. Logan realized how much those words meant to him- "Everything's okay." They soothed him for some reason, and they were just what Logan needed to hear. James smiled knowingly and pulled him to his body again.

"I think if I ever meet this guy, I might punch him," James murmured, his voice vibrating through is chest into Logan's ear. "He deserves it."

Logan often thought that same thing: he would love to punch Kendall for what he did. But at the same time, he still loved him. Well, he thought he did. But how could he like James like this and still love Kendall?

He chose not to respond, but instead turned his head to place a kiss on James's chest, right above his heart. It was the first time Logan had ever kissed James, and when he returned to his previous position he noticed that James's heart was beating rapidly now.

"Why is it so cold in here?" he asked drowsily.

"You're cold? I'm roasting."

James pulled the blankets up further over Logan.

"Well you can snuggle as close as you need, sweet thing," he said charismatically. "I'm like a radiator at night."

And Logan did snuggle closer, the heat of James's bare skin warming not only his own skin and body, but his heart, too. He felt the pain and desperation he felt for Kendall slowly be replaced by this warmth and infatuation for this man who was holding him so tightly as he fell asleep. He was so grateful for this man who came and relieved him of his pain, and he knew he couldn't let him go.


	6. Chapter 6

"Wake up, Logan, I think it's time to go to school or something," James said softly, shaking Logan. When Logan's eyes finally opened he was surprised to find James already showered and dressed, looking pristine even though he clearly hadn't shaved. Logan dared not say anything about the sexy stubble on his face, though, for fear he may remember to go shave.

He sat up and looked at the alarm clock: it was eight o'clock. School started in fifteen minutes and Logan needed to shower and wash this gel out of his hair… He was probably stinky, too. Plus he had to go home and get his backpack. Logically, there was no way he would make it in time.

"I'm already late, let's take our time," he said sleepy, rolling over.

"Okay… What do you want to eat?" James asked.

"I usually don't eat breakfast."

"That's not good for you," James sang.

Logan found that he couldn't fall back asleep, so after a minute he rolled over to see James sitting against the bed, a big electric keyboard in his lap, headphone in his ears so only he could hear what he was playing.

He seemed to just be playing around with the notes, but his eyes were meticulous and his lips were slightly pursed in concentration.

Logan rubbed a hand on James's shoulder to let him know he was awake, and James turned around with a little smile.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," he joked.

"What are you playing?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just experimenting and stuff."

He unplugged the headphones and Logan's hand slithered down to play all he knew how to: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. He smirked at James, who laughed out loud and rolled his eyes.

"I can play that, too," he said mischievously. Both his hands set on the keys and his right hand started with the main melody. Suddenly, out of nowhere, both his hands started dancing over the keys in a mixture of improvised melodies and his left hand creating a blanket of sound beneath it, making the whole song a masterpiece.

When he was done he just smirked to Logan a little before going back to playing around.

Logan just watched, mesmerized, as James put chords together and made completely unique melodies up and was able to repeat them later.

"That's a kind of sad song," Logan said.

"I made it up. Just now."

"What do you have to write sad songs about?" Logan inquired, not accusingly, but curiously.

"It's not about me," James answered. His fingers held down three keys, testing how the chord sounded, before one of them moved and he found that chord to be even better. "It's about you. I've never felt such… SADNESS… Coming through to me from another person. But last night, I felt it. I saw it. This is what heartbreak sounds like."

James looked back and his hazel eyes were dead serious for once, and filled with sweetness so intense Logan wanted to kiss him right there.

"Maybe at first, and occasionally throughout," Logan said, James turning back to the piano. "But right now, that's not what it feels like. Right now it's… Hopeful."

James looked back at him, confusion on his face.

"Like, you're saying to the person who hurt you… 'You're an asshole and you hurt me, but I'm forgetting about you because now there's someone else who's making me feel special.'" Logan smiled.

"Really?" James said, brightening up. Logan just smiled and sat up, rubbing his face and realizing just how nasty he felt: he couldn't believe he cuddled with James all night being as gross as he is. His hair was matted with gel and his face was greasy, mouth tasting nasty and breath probably smelling worse.

Soon James was experimenting with his melody at a faster pace and a happier key. Logan liked that version a lot better.

* * *

Logan disliked the way he looked having not shaven for three days. Usually he didn't need to shave everyday like James probably did, but by now a little shadow was visible on his chin. James insisted a little stubble is sexy, and that combined with his new haircut would have Kendall drooling over him in a minute.

"He can look, but he can't touch," James said sternly, making Logan roll his eyes.

"He wouldn't want to touch."

"You still don't know how hot you look, do you," James smirked in amusement. He kissed Logan's cheek in farewell before Logan drove off to get his backpack at home and then to school.

Logan was nervous as he entered his class late. Everyone stared at him, puzzled, then realized it was Logan, not some new kid, and kind of laughed. Hearing the snickers, Logan immediately went red and felt self-conscious. That is, until the girl in front of him in the class turned around and said, "We're only laughing because we didn't even realize it was you. You look so good."

He was still self-conscious throughout the day, even though people kept complimenting him. It wasn't until Chemistry that Logan realized that James was right about this new look.

He was sitting there, watching the teacher, like always. But this time he kept catching Kendall's head sweeping around and his green eyes set on him, then dart away. This happened quite a few times, and it was distracting, yet flattering. Finally he decided to look out the window so Kendall could get a good look without being caught and looking away. After a second he sensed the gaze and chewed his eraser, trying to show off a little, before his eyes slowly moved to Kendall, catching him once again. He smirked as Kendall turned back around and sat up more, trying to concentrate on the class.

After class, Kendall actually went up to him as he was getting his things together.

"Wow, Logan," Kendall laughed shyly. "You look so… Different."

That's weird: Kendall was never shy around Logan, and he hadn't just come up to talk to him since the breakup. Logan smiled a little and shrugged.

"My friend suggested it," he answered.

"Who?"

"His name is James," Logan waved nonchalantly, like he hadn't spent the night in that man's arms. "You don't know him."

"Oh…" Kendall said, knowing Logan doesn't just "make friends", much less let them choose his hairstyle. "Well… You look really… Hot."

Logan's brow shot up in surprise, and Kendall's eyes averted with a little chuckle.

"Thanks," Logan responded, secretly crying with joy on the inside. He sneaked past Kendall, who was still staring at him. He couldn't believe Kendall just did all that. He was talking to him, for one, but he called him HOT?

Logan found himself beaming for the rest of the day.

* * *

When Logan picked James up after school, he was still beaming. They hadn't really made any particular plans, but it was assumed that they would get together again right after school, like they had every other day since they met.

"Hi," James laughed peculiarly as he buckled his seatbelt. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"I'm just happy, is all."

"Good," James grinned. "How was your day?"

"It was great. Everyone complimented my haircut."

"I told you you look good."

"And Kendall talked to me after class," Logan beamed. James's face spun to look at him, his equal enthusiasm gone in a second.

"What did he have to say?" he asked casually, trying not to sound jealous or angry. He HAD mentioned that he would have Kendall drooling, after all. He knew it would happen.

"He just said he liked my haircut," Logan shrugged happily. "Said I look-"

He cut himself off, realizing what he was saying to who.

"Said you look what?" James asked, voice sounding flat, yet casual.

"Nothing. Said I look different," Logan finished. "I'm sorry, James. He was my best friend, too, you know, and it means the world to me that he even talked to me today."

"He had no right to stop talking to you anyway," James said, voice growing irritated. "You didn't do anything wrong. He should have been begging your forgiveness and trying to be your friend still."

"I can't blame him."

"Yeah, well I can."

Logan was silent, realizing it was a mistake to bring Kendall up. It was a mistake to feel excited about Kendall talking to him. James should be his focus now… Right? But he and James weren't anything, so it wasn't his responsibility to keep his mind off of Kendall. He wasn't doing anything wrong by it, but he could tell it bothered James a lot.

At the same time, Logan knew it wasn't healthy for him to be excited about Kendall giving him attention. He should focus on James.

He snapped out of his trance and smiled a little at James, lying his hand on James's thigh and squeezing.

"How was YOUR day?" he asked. James's demeanor changed and he smiled back, his hand lying on top of Logan's.

"It was okay. Lonely after you left, though," he answered. "I worked out and took a nap… Me and Aunt Rose cleaned the house."

"What do you mean lonely?" Logan chuckled. "Your aunt was there."

"But I wanted YOU there."

Logan smirked a little, trying to hide how huge he wanted to grin at that.

"What are we gonna do today?" James asked, his hazel eyes looking out the window. It always amazed Logan how childish and curious James could look, like right now, even though he was twenty-three years old and had almost a full beard of stubble, sitting with his legs wide apart.

Something told Logan that it didn't matter what he said he wanted to do, James would be happy just to be there with him. It reminded of how he was with Kendall: he loved just being with him, no matter where they were or what they did. It made Logan feel special to know that James was so into him.

James looked over at him, cocking his head, waiting for an answer.

"There's somewhere special I want to take you," Logan finally answered.

"Special?" James beamed. "Where?"

"It's a surprise. To make up for being an ass earlier."

"You weren't an ass. Logan, you couldn't be an ass if you tried."

"Well, for upsetting you by bringing Kendall up," Logan said. "I won't do it anymore."

James beamed and bounced in his seat, turning his hand around to squeeze Logan's in his lap. Logan couldn't help but smile at him, never seeing him so excited.

"Oh- you're passing up my road," James said suddenly. "I don't have the camera."

"No camera today," Logan answered. "Just us."

James grinned excitedly and stared out the window, trying to guess where they were headed.

* * *

James didn't want to say it, but he didn't think the park was all that special. He didn't know why Logan brought him here and was leading him around the lake, far into the park. He had been through this whole park, both as a kid and recently on a jog, and he never thought it was special. And Logan was hard to impress, so he was surprised that he thought it was somehow special. It was cloudy and he was afraid it might rain, too. He was glad to be here with Logan, of course, and they had brought a blanket so there would definitely be some cuddling in the grass, so it was okay.

"Where are we going?" he asked, trying not to whine, but this was a LONG walk in the grass, up hills, through trees, etc.

"A secret place that I discovered."

"Did you ever come here with HIM?" James asked.

"No, he would have thought it was lame. But I love it. I go there sometimes to do homework and stuff. I've never seen anyone else there."

James cocked his head in confusion.

"We're almost there," Logan assured. He smiled back at James. He was excited for someone else to finally see this place, and he knew James would really appreciate its beauty.

When they arrived at the tiny clearing in the midst of dogwood trees, Logan was surprised to find that the trees were exploded with white blossoms, tiny purple and pink flowers littering the long grass. Usually when he came here it was just a plain clearing, but Logan loved it because it was so peaceful and private.

"This is… Gorgeous," James said, spinning around to look at the white blossoms, tree branches swaying in the breeze. Logan himself was looking around in amazement.

After a minute, James spread the blanket out over the soft grass and sat, patting the place beside him.

"This is beautiful. Really," he said as Logan sat. He ran his hand over the top of the grass, letting the blades tickle his fingertips.

"It's not perfect, though. I wanted it to be perfect," Logan sighed, looking up at the sky. "It's supposed to be sunny and warm and-"

James lay his arm over Logan's shoulders and shook him reassuringly. Logan cut himself off, realizing James didn't even care that it was cloudy and might rain.

It was then that Logan realized… He could never take Kendall here because he would have been impatient and not appreciate the beauty. He would tease Logan for liking it so much and be bored within seconds. But James was sitting here, his hazel eyes seeming to focus on every dogwood blossom, glowing with admiration. It felt like their souls were connected just through appreciating this meadow, and James's arm on his shoulder was so warm and loving, not possessive and showing masculinity.

He lay back and James went with him, lying his head on Logan's shoulder and now looking at the grey sky. James could really appreciate things, more than Logan himself. His mind flashed to James's take on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano. He made that up out of such a simple little tune, and he brought out the beauty from it. James's mind was so complex and amazing, but one would never know it.

"You're thinking so hard about something," James said, not looking up. "What is it?"

"How can you tell?"

"I just can."

Logan smiled a little and bent his arm to absently stroke at the man's hair.

"I'm thinking about you."

"Me too. But you."

Before Logan could say anything, James shot upright. Confused, Logan also sat up.

A gust of wind was suddenly whirling around the meadow, and the white flower petals were being knocked loose and were falling like snow all around them.

James stood up, and Logan had to stare at him for a minute. His shirt was rippling with the wind, his fair blown to his left, his eyes turned grey reflecting the sky. His mouth had fallen slightly open and his hands were out in front of him, palms up, letting the blossoms tickle them.

Logan stood up and caught James's attention as he pulled his face toward him with the gentle pull of his hand. James's eyes switched from wonder to an expression that said "It's about time", as Logan got to his toes to press his lips to James's.

It was a short kiss, and afterward James pulled Logan to his side with a strong arm and they watched the snowfall in happy silence.

Soon the wind became violent and the blanket went flying. Logan tried to break from James's grip to retrieve it where it was wrapped around a tree, but James kept him there. When he looked up, James just smiled a little and hugged him tightly. Soon the blanket was forgotten and they were both absorbed in embracing one another against the tornado-like wind. The dogwood petals whirled around them, getting stuck in their hair and clothes, but they didn't seem to mind.

In the embrace, Logan could feel that he was translating clear fear to James. Fear of moving on from Kendall, fear of what would happen after that kiss, fear of James going back to California after he had already attached himself. James seemed to receive the signals and squeeze him tighter.

"Everything's okay," James whispered over the wind. "Just hold me forever."

They stood like that for a few minutes, until a sudden downpour set in and they were both soaked within seconds. They laughed and ran to stand beneath one the of the dogwoods, watching from their slightly defective umbrella under one another's arms.

Logan looked up at James and realized he was grinning goofily down at him already, childish laughter pouring from his lips. He had to laugh, too, his newly cut hair plastered to his forehead. Suddenly James's lips were on his again, slippery with rainwater. His big, warm hand was holding the nape of Logan's neck and his body was now pressed to Logan's.

Logan realized that the fingers on his neck were trembling and now James's hand was reaching for his, and when his fingers made contact they, too, were shaking.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked, looking up in worry. It wasn't cold, but James was from California and thought it was always freezing here in Minnesota, and now he was wet, too. "Are you that cold?"

When he looked at James, he could that he was beaming.

"I'm shaken up," he answered, gently picking flower petals from Logan's hair. "I've never… I've never been kissed like that. With real feeling behind it."

"You're shaking."

"I feel like I'm high."

Logan's heart swelled and he had to smile and blush. Not even Kendall had ever said anything like that: insinuating that his kiss was so sweet it made him high. He bashfully averted his attention to brushing flower petals from James's clothes and hair.

However, James didn't rush experiencing that high again. He just squeezed Logan's hand and sat at the base of the tree, looking out at the downpour.

When Logan sat down beside him, James wrapped his arm loosely around his waist and rested his cheek gently on Logan's hair. With Logan's hand on James's thigh, the two of them sat in silence, just watching the rain and appreciating the warmth they were feeling, despite the cold dampness of their clothes. The petals were blowing from the trees still, getting pushed around by the wind and rain as the long grass and flowers on the ground swayed violently, yet peacefully.

"I've never felt this before," James said lowly.

"Felt what?"

"Like I'm in my own little world with someone else," James said in amazement. "Like nothing even matters but you, and I'm all that matters to you, too. I can just… Be me, and it's good enough."

Logan looked up, melted inside and out, and caught James's hazel eyes, grey from the sky, staring right into his soul. His pink lips were curved into a little smile and Logan had to kiss them to make the smile bigger.


	7. Chapter 7

**A lot of you guys have been asking to view my old stories, which is great! I deleted them because they were cluttering up my profile and I was kinda on hiatus, so I wanted only my best work to be on there for all to see. The truth is, I love reading my old stuff, too, so I saved them. Unfortunately, I didn't save any of the stuff I wrote when I first started, but I think the earliest one I have is the first Dark Places? I don't know, you can check it out here: folderview?id=0B2QSIcdsjQBtSm5pbzUxUVZ5bG8 &usp=sharing**

 **Link also in my profile description.**

 **It's been a long time since I updated, but this chapter is well worth it, I think. It took a lot of thinking about James's character and what would bring out the most in the storyline, a lot of deleting and rewriting, but I think I got it. Hope you like it!**

* * *

"So it's prom night," Logan said, trying to look excited for the webcam and realizing he failing. "Okay, so that was fake. I'm actually really nervous. I mean, I know it'll be fun, I've gone before… But I just wish Kendall wouldn't be there."

Logan looked himself over on the computer screen, adjusting his black jacket a little.

"It's not that I want him back. I really don't. But I'm just afraid he'll be there with a date. I know that's unfair, since I'm going with a date… But he's the one that broke it off. He deserves to see me with someone hotter. And he deserves to be alone on prom night. I'm also scared he'll come up and talk to us, and God knows Kendall will find a way to get to James…" Logan sighed, the knots in his stomach tightening. "I just wish he wouldn't be there, so James and I can have a good time. I know I'm being ridiculous, but-"

His bedroom door suddenly opened a crack and Logan twisted to see that James was peeking in.

"Hey," Logan found himself smiling, his nerves temporarily gone. "Come in."

James opened the door wider and waltzed in, adjusting his cufflinks charismatically, showing off for Logan in a way only a model could do.

But then he laid eyes on Logan, and he paused. His flirtatious show was suddenly over and he was just staring.

"Gosh you look so… Perfect," James hissed.

"Me?" Logan snorted. He knew nobody at prom would even notice him beside James, who was wearing an all-black tuxedo. Sure, it was kind of plain, but it made him look so sexy, so mature…

"Gosh, you make me feel so… Ugly," James laughed, embarrassed.

"Me?" Logan retorted again, feeling himself blush a little.

Brushing away this new feeling of inferiority, James walked over to Logan and looked at the computer, which was still recording.

"Is this recording?" he retorted, then he saw that it was. "I'm so embarrassed."

"This is my blog," Logan explained, then turned his attention to the future audience. "This is James, by the way."

"Hey," James waved with a little smile.

"Let's go," Logan suggested, then waved at the camera before turning it off. He stood up and turned to James seeing that he was now looking at himself in the mirror, looking self-conscious.

"I've never seen you so… Unconfident," Logan said.

"Doesn't happen often," James said, turning to Logan and hissing again. "Jesus, Logan, you need to try modelling."

Logan blushed and laughed as James hugged him tight.

"You're so hot," James repeated once more. "Hey, are we gonna take the camera and film?"

"Not a chance. This is just us."

* * *

"Hey," James said softly as he parked Logan's car in the venue parking lot. He looked over at Logan, worry in his eyes. "What's going on? You're being so quiet."

Logan's eyes finally moved from the dashboard to his handsome friend. DAMN he looked good. His suit was all black, including his button-up and his tie, and his hair was neatly made up. He was cleanly shaven, not wanting to look TOO old, since it was a high school prom, but he still looked sexy as hell. Logan should be focusing on this god in front of him, not worrying about what would happen later.

"I'm fine," Logan smiled. Although James was clearly unconvinced, he smiled, too, and reached over to pull Logan's chin up for a kiss.

He then handed the keys to Logan and got out. He adjusted his tie and buttoned his jacket before strolling over to Logan's door and opening it. He took Logan's hand and pulled him up, kissing his cheek as Logan stood.

"God you look good," James whispered, biting his lip and shaking his head. Logan chuckled and blushed a little, not believing that he really looks that good.

They made their way to the line to get in, and within ten minutes they were walking into the dark, loud room filled with dancing teenagers. By now James had gained back most of his model confidence, although he still said he felt inferior beside Logan.

Logan looked up at James to ask where they should go, only to find James grinning and practically vibrating with excitement.

"Let's dance!" James shouted over the music. "Take me to dance, Logan!"

Logan couldn't help but beam, too, just happy to be giving this excitement to the man he liked so much. He took his hand and pulled him toward the dancefloor, where James seemed right at home.

Immediately James was dancing like nobody was around, and Logan stood shyly, looking around. Nobody was looking at them, of course, since everyone was having their own good time.

"Dance, Logan!" James insisted. "C'mon! Nobody's looking!"

"I don't-"

But James was dancing circles around him now, making Logan laugh and move his limbs as best he could. James was now in front of him again and they were laughing and dancing.

After about a minute, Logan's eyes scanned the crowd again. One person caught his eye, and that person was sitting at a table, twisted in his chair, motionless. It was Kendall, staring not at Logan but at James's back, his face smoothed over. His eyes then flashed to Logan and he realized he was caught, so all he could do was smile a little bit and wave.

Logan nodded back, which caught James's attention and made James trace his gaze. Immediately Kendall turned back around to his group of friends that he was there with.

James turned back to Logan, his eyes suddenly and uncharacteristically dark. He didn't say anything, but instead his hand planted in the middle of Logan's back and gently steered him toward the snacks and drinks.

"I'm parched already," James said, his voice and face normal now. "Dancing is such a workout."

Logan was glad James seemed back to normal as they got drinks, but when they went back to find a table to rest at, he caught James's eyes darkening again and returning to Kendall's table.

In an attempt to get things back to normal and pull the attention from Kendall, Logan put a hand on James's thigh and squeezed. As expected, James turned his eyes back to him and smiled regretfully.

"Sorry," he apologized, turning his body to Logan. "I'm all yours."

Just as he said that his phone rang and after a second James pulled it out, saw that it was just Carlos, silenced the ringer, and put the phone back.

As soon as Logan opened his mouth to say something, another voice came from behind them.

"Hey, guys."

As soon as he heard the voice Logan swallowed hard and held his breath.

"I'm Kendall," Kendall was saying to James as Logan turned to him, Kendall's hand outstretched. James had a charming smile plastered on his face, but didn't take Kendall's hand.

"I know," he answered tightly, offering no introduction of himself. "I've heard SO MUCH about you."

"This is my friend, James," Logan said to Kendall.

"Oh, the one who changed your hair," Kendall nodded. "I didn't know he would be here."

"He wasn't gonna come, but I convinced him," James said with a little smile. He was obviously trying to be polite and show Kendall that he was a nice guy, but it was hard. His phone rang again and James quickly reached into his jacket to silence it.

"He always was a killjoy," Kendall laughed, also seeming tight. "You have to make him have fun."

James silently took a deep breath and turned his attention to a napkin on the table, tearing it up between his fingers. Although he was trying to be nice, Logan could tell he was bothered by Kendall's presence. Logan took the opportunity to shoot Kendall angry looks, twitching his head in the opposite direction to tell him to leave them alone. Kendall just rolled his eyes and gave in.

"I'll see you guys around," he said, backing away. "Nice to meet you- Jason, was it?"

"James," James corrected, politely.

As Kendall disappeared, James pushed his chair back from the table and stood, his phone going crazy in his jacket pocket again.

"I gotta see what's so important: usually Carlos doesn't persist like this. I'll be right back."

"Yeah, must be something important, right?" Logan smiled up to him.

James planted a reassuring kiss on Logan's forehead before leaving. Logan made sure that Kendall was now in the crowd, and James was actually going outside instead of to punch Kendall in the nose.

* * *

"Los, I'm a little hung up here, okay?" James answered impatiently, pushing out the door and stepping onto the sidewalk outside. "What's going on?"

"What's good, Jay?" Carlos greeted happily. "It's been a minute."

"Yeah, dude, I'm sorry, but I'm really busy. What's up?"

"Playgirl called the house for you. Left a message, saying they want to feature you, I mean FEATURE. Centerfold, articles, I mean PAGES on you."

"What?" James squeaked, then cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. Of course James and Carlos both had been in Playgirl magazines before, but those were just pictures. The dream was that one or both of them would be FEATURED, which meant articles written on them, multiple pictures of them… It was a big deal.

"I know! I called as soon as I listened to the message! Dude, they wanna meet with you Wednesday for the shoot!"

James's smile faded and he bit his lip.

"Wednesday? That's so soon…"

"What's the problem? You've been down there forever, aren't you ready to come home?" Carlos pleaded. "I miss you, man!"

"I miss you, too, Los, but… I met someone," James said, nervously biting his thumbnail. "I'm not ready to leave. That's less than a week away."

"Is this a he or a she?"

"He."

"I figured. You don't get too attached to the chicks," Carlos chuckled. "Then again, you've never gotten too attached at all. What's he like?"

"So cute, Los-"

"CUTE? James Diamond is into CUTE? Since when?"

"Since Logan," James smiled, returning to a walk. "You'll love him. He's kinda shy, though, but so smart. And soooo hot."

"Send me pics, man!" Carlos beamed, then got serious. "In the meantime, you need to get your perky little ass down here for this shoot! This is BIG, Jay!"

"I'm not ready! I almost have Logan in the bag, and-"

"So bring him WITH you, man!"

"I can't he's in school," James said, then realized his mistake.

"Oh, a college boy, huh? You really did go for someone out of your league this time," Carlos chuckled.

"Not… College…"

"High school?! Jay! What the hell are you thinking? A KID? Is he even legal?"

"Of course he's legal," James growled.

Sensing that he was standing on thin ice, Carlos backed off and dropped the subject.

"I don't care how you do it, but you have to get here by Wednesday, okay?" Still not feeling confident that James would peel himself away from this "Logan" guy, Carlos turned to persuasion. "Think of all the money, dude! Everyone will know your name. All the exposure. Think of how many calls you'll be getting after this, how many gigs! If nothing else, think of the SNACKS Playgirl has."

"I know, I KNOW," James sighed.

"Dude, I guarantee this Logan guy's gonna still like you from across the country."

"I'll be there," James grumbled. Of course he was elated that Playgirl wanted the feature him: this was HUGE for his career. After this feature, his life would change. It was already paradise, but he would be a KING after this.

He was just not ready to leave Logan… But then again, he just wasn't sure if he would EVER get enough of Logan, or if he would EVER be ready to leave.

He would bring it up tomorrow, but tonight he just wanted to be with Logan and enjoy himself.

* * *

Logan was a little bored once James left, but he didn't really mind: he knew as soon as James came back they would go right back to dancing and having fun.

Soon enough Camille, Logan's lab partner, came up to him to get a picture with him, and James was forgotten. He was so preoccupied with his friend that he didn't notice Kendall sitting in James's seat until Camille was sucked back into the crowd and he was left alone.

"Wanna dance?" Kendall asked casually, catching Logan's attention.

"Dance?" Logan snorted. "Yeah right."

"Well I just saw your date go outside. He doesn't seem too concerned about you or making your night special."

Logan glanced over to the door, knowing James wasn't there. He just stepped out for a second, after all. Well, so Logan thought. But it had been quite a while now with no trace of James.

"I don't know about this Jason guy," Kendall said softly.

"You know damn well his name isn't Jason," Logan said.

"Well, whatever it is, he seems to be more interested in being jealous of me, and less interested in his hot date," Kendall pointed out.

"He just went outside to take an important call. Besides, he wasn't acting jealous," Logan corrected irritably. "He has nothing to be jealous of."

"Ouch," Kendall hissed jokingly, but Logan could tell it really kind of hurt him. "Well either way, you're just sitting here by yourself on prom night."

Logan realized he was right: sure, he and James danced for a few minutes when they arrived, but since Kendall was spotted it was all about him, then all about this phone call. James had hardly paid Logan any mind.

"Just one dance, then I'll disappear. I promise," Kendall said sincerely. Logan forced himself to look into those caramel green eyes, knowing that Kendall never broke a promise. He looked so handsome in his suit, and he was actually interested in Logan having a good time, unlike James.

And if one dance got Kendall to disappear so that Logan and James could be normal again, it was worth it.

He allowed Kendall to lead him to the middle of the dance floor, right in the middle of the slow song. They assumed the slow-dance position, but Logan made sure they weren't too close.

"Remember last year," Kendall smiled, chuckling at how far away they were. "When we were just so ready to get outta here so we could make love all night?"

Logan's eyes hardened and he looked away. Kendall chuckled, realizing his mistake, and shut his mouth.

"You've been driving me crazy the past few weeks, you know."

Logan looked up at Kendall again, not realizing that Kendall had pulled him closer.

"I'll always be sorry that I had to hurt you like I did, Logan."

"Kendall, you have no right to confess your newfound feelings for me. It's too late now."

"They're not newfound, they were just forgotten," Kendall murmured. "I know it's too late, because I saw the way you look at him. For God's sake, you were dancing for him. You're you again, Logan, and I'm so happy to see that."

Kendall's eyes glazed over in that way they did when he was deep in thought.

"How serious is it?" Kendall asked, a twinge of pain in his voice. Logan paused, looking around for James and still not seeing him. Well, that was okay. He wouldn't want James to witness him dancing with Kendall, even if it was innocent.

"I don't know, Kendall. We're just going with it right now, trying not to put titles on things and ruin what we have," Logan said honestly. "I'm making a documentary about him."

"Why?"

"For college."

"What makes HIM so movie-worthy?" Kendall asked.

"He's a model," Logan answered simply. "He's from California, he's really interesting."

"A MODEL? Jesus, how old is that guy?" Kendall whimpered.

"Twenty-three."

"Jesus, Logan, he's robbing the cradle!" Kendell growled. "He's way too old-"

"We knew each other when we were little. We used to play together."

"Well, isn't that special?" Kendall grumbled. "I didn't know you could be in model in Minnesota."

"He lives in California."

Kendall's brow jumped up and he just laughed.

"I see how it is now," he chuckled. "God, Logan, you're just doing this to get to me. Make me jealous."

Kendall's eyes were darkened with lust now, his smile seductive.

"It worked," he said lowly. They stopped swaying and Kendall's thumb lightly pinching Logan's chin, paralyzing Logan. Every cell in his body was telling him to punch Kendall in his stupid face and tell him to fuck off… But he couldn't seem to move. His eyes were captivated by Kendall's smoldering gaze, his light touch, his body against Logan's. He could hardly even breathe.

"You've been driving me nuts ever since I heard about this James guy," Kendall smiled. "Now it's time for you to drop him and we can be happy again."

Logan started to get a grip on himself and his brows furrowed, his mouth opening to argue, to stop this nonsense. But then Kendall's lips were hugging Logan's lower lip, the way Kendall always kissed him.

* * *

After a while of leaning against the brick building and talking to Carlos, James decided he should be with Logan protecting him from Kendall's greedy hands. He headed back inside in the middle of a slow song.

He went back to their table to find empty chairs.

"God damn it," James growled to himself, looking around, hoping to find Logan in a crowd of his friends or at the snack area, well away from Kendall. Even if Kendall came up to James to talk to him, that was better than Kendall being with Logan. Especially since this was a slow song.

He sat in his chair for a minute, deciding to just wait for Logan to return. Then his fears got the best of him and he decided he had to find Logan before Kendall did.

He politely pushed his way through the crowd, just looking for that short, adorable brunette with the red rose pinned to his jacket.

He found that Kendall had already stolen him. He arrived at the tail end of a deep kiss, Logan looking stunned. Kendall was now looking over Logan's shoulder at James and a little smirk crossed his lips. His face ducked to brush Logan's hair sensually, eyes still locked with James's.

"Okay, that's enough," Logan said, pulling himself away from Kendall, seeming to be out of breath and regretful, but not accusing, still oblivious to James standing there.

"I won't do it again. Let's just-" Kendall said, trying to pull Logan back.

"He said that's enough," James growled, lightly pushing Kendall away from Logan.

"James," Logan said quickly, wondering how much James saw.

Logan then realized that Kendall and James's stares were locked together, their jaws clenched in anger, both looking defensive. The music had changed to a fast song and people were jumping all around them.

"Woah, woah-"

"I was gone for a few minutes, and I come back to you trying to steal-"

"You were gone for twenty minutes," Kendall retorted. "What a date."

"And you were gone for four months, with no interest in Logan until you saw that he's with me," James shot back. "How about you back off and let a _man_ take care of him."

This seemed to get to Kendall, as it probably would get to any guy.

"Hey!" Logan snapped as he pushed James back more, seeing that the two were inching closer. "Stop, James!"

"He deserved someone to at least pay attention to him," Kendall said to James.

"And he also deserves someone who respects him and treats him special."

"James, stop!" Logan growled, now between them, his back to Kendall.

"Do you wanna take this outside?" Kendall growled. People were starting to stare at the trio, realizing that something serious was about to happen.

Logan backed up to hold Kendall, his eyes accusing on James. Looking at James in complete anger.

James closed his mouth and stepped back, looking down at Logan. Logan, who was protecting Kendall, who was yelling at James to stop, who was just slow dancing with Kendall and kissed him. His choice was clear.

"No," he said softly.

"What?" Kendall mocked, and Logan struggled harder to hold him back.

"I said NO," James growled before stealing away.

* * *

Watching James storm away, Logan whirled around to face Kendall, his eyes like burning black coals.

"You ASSHOLE!" Logan yelled over the music, shoving Kendall back. Kendall's eyes widened in surprise and hurt as Logan turned to follow James.

"James!" Logan was calling, trotting to keep up with James's long, angry strides through the staring people. He followed the taller man all the way outside until his calls could be heard. "James!"

James finally heard him and stopped, turning around.

"Just go with him, I understand," James said, still walking the same speed down the sidewalk.

"Where are you going?" Logan demanded. "It's dangerous out here in the dark."

"I can take care of myself."

"James, it's not what you think, okay?"

"I just hope he's better to you this time around," James said gently. "Go back to the party, Logan, this is your senior prom."

"I don't want to go back without you," Logan pleaded. "James… I promise that wasn't anything. He like, forced himself on me."

"You didn't push him away," James pointed out, irritation apparent in his voice.

"James, STOP!" Logan demanded, running to catch up, standing in front of James and making him stop. "It wasn't supposed to happen and it won't happen again. You're the one that I want."

"He's the better choice, Logan. Just go, okay?"

"Did I just hear YOU put yourself down? Where's that James confidence?" Logan demanded. "Any other guy and you would have hit him right in the mouth, and you just gave me up to Kendall like that!"

James's eyes dropped, his brows furrowed angrily.

"It's because I care so much about you that all I want is what's best for you," he answered. "I'm not mad at you."

"Yeah, CLEARLY," Logan muttered. James was obviously very upset at Logan, judging by his angry tone and body language.

"I'm mad at myself," James said softly. "For letting myself have feelings for someone so above me."

Logan was speechless, too upset to even think of what to say.

"I'm going back to Cali," James said, not looking up at Logan, his voice gentle now. "I really hope you can come up with a good ending to your movie without me…"

"James, please," Logan pleaded as James started to go around him.

"Enjoy the rest of your night," James said over his shoulder.


	8. Chapter 8

Logan was PISSED.

He was pissed at Kendall for making a move on him, knowing James was around and would see. He was pissed at James for not waiting and listening to what he had to say, for just deciding to bale like that. But mostly, he was pissed at himself for letting this happen.

He should have never danced with Kendall: he knew Kendall would try something. He should have never let Kendall kiss him. He should have smacked Kendall right in the face.

And now he was alone out in the dark city in a tuxedo with the man he cares about angry and hurt, leaving the state soon.

He felt the same pain in his stomach that he had for three months after Kendall left him, except now there was guilt mixed in there. He hurt James, and now James was possibly leaving the state. He hoped that after a while of simmering down James would be open to talking to Logan and things would be normal again.

In an attempt to calm himself down, Logan started to walk in the opposite way that James had disappeared. He didn't mean to be storming down the sidewalk, but that's what he ended up doing.

He kept walking and walking, lost in his thoughts and self-loathing, lost in plans to call James and how long he should give James before pursuing him and everything, until he walked right past a group of guys, a little older than him. They were smoking cigarettes and talking while leaning against a brick building, and they fell silent as Logan walked past.

He was in the middle of thinking about what he would say to Kendall, he was rehearsing it in his head, his breathing getting rugged and his blood pressure rising.

"HEY!" one demanded. Logan hardly even heard the guy and assumed he wasn't talking to him. "Hey! You! Pretty boy in the monkey suit!"

It wasn't until there was a heavy hand on his shoulder and he was surrounded that Logan looked up.

"WHAT?" Logan snapped, then realized that he let his anger out on the wrong people.

"You lost?" one guy asked menacingly.

"No," Logan said, calmer this time. These guys were bigger than him, tougher than him, obviously looking for a fight. Luckily, Logan was feeling strong on adrenaline.

"You're looking a little out of place," another guy laughed maliciously. They were closer to him now, and as one guy's chest touched his shoulder he roughly shoved it away with his shoulder blade.

"Yeah, you look a little uncomfortable in that monkey suit," one guy laughed evilly. A hand grabbed at his jacket, and Logan tore away.

"BACK OFF!" Logan growled. All the guys laughed evilly at him, then there were multiple hands grabbing at his clothes. He tried shoving back for a second before he realized he was outnumbered and not as strong as he originally thought. He might actually be in danger.

As he was being tasseled and mangled, he faintly heard a "HEY! Fuck off!" and one of the guys was pulled off of him and shoved to the ground.

Kendall entered the circle and pulled guys off of him one by one, rage in his eyes.

"Get in the car, Logan," Kendall growled over his shoulder, nodding toward his car parked roughly on the street, still running.

"I don't need your help!" Logan growled. "Get lost, Kendall!"

Kendall started trying to pull Logan to the car as the guys started hurrying away, afraid of Kendall although he hardly did anything to them.

"Get off of me!" Logan shouted, jerking himself away. "Just leave me alone!"

Kendall shoved him roughly to the car until Logan had to comply and get in. Although he didn't want Kendall's help, he also didn't know how far he was from his own car or how late it was, so he didn't want to walk back.

"Where the FUCK is James?" Kendall asked, eyes on fire as he got into the car himself and locked the doors.

Logan opened his mouth to speak, but then his face crumpled.

"He's going back to California," he said, looking away, feeling emotion welling up into his throat. "He's really hurt."

As soon as Kendall's comforting arm pulled him closer Logan was bawling into his shoulder, shaking with emotion.

Kendall's embrace wasn't romantic this time, he wasn't trying to steal Logan. It was a comforting touch, a sympathetic hug.

"I'm really sorry, Loge," he said softly. "I wanted to get under his skin, but I didn't think he would leave."

"He thinks we're back together. He thinks I chose you over him and he's heartbroken," Logan sniffled. "He thinks you're the better choice for me."

Although Kendall was flattered, he couldn't show it. Sure, he was ecstatic that he got to James so much, made James jealous, and that James thinks he's better than him. But Logan was hurt all over again. Logan was REALLY hurt. And any sane person would hate to see Logan this way.

"What do you want to do, then?" he said instead. "I can take you back to prom, I can take you home, I can take you to James's house, anywhere you want."

"Just take me home," Logan said, pulling away and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I'll go talk to him in the morning."

* * *

After calling about five times the next morning, Logan decided he needed to go to James's house and try to talk to him. He cut a plump, red rose from his mother's rosebush on his way.

He was nervous as he got into his car. What if James refused to talk to him? What if James wouldn't believe him when he explained everything? What if he said he never wanted to see Logan again?

By the time he got up to knock on his door, Logan's heart was pounding and he thought he may throw up or pass out. His finger shook as he rung the doorbell, then opened the door himself. Rose had always welcomed he and his mother to just come on in, he had never waited for her to open the door for him.

"Hello?" he called, closing the door behind him. He heard footsteps and Rose met him from the kitchen, her face looking solemn.

"Hi, honey, I heard what happened," she said. "I tried to tell him that Kendall shouldn't be a worry and that you wouldn't go back to him. I tried."

"And he still wouldn't listen?"

"When it comes to you, he's just a ball of insecurities. He just doesn't know what to do himself with you. He likes you so much, and to see you kissing Kendall… I know it wasn't you, Loge, I know Kendall did it… But it just destroyed him."

Logan sighed, brows upturned. James was really hurt, wasn't he? This was serious.

"Do you think he'll see me?" he asked hopefully. "Will he let me talk to him?"

Rose's face contorted in worry and she shook her head.

"He didn't tell you?" she asked. "He left this morning."

"What?" Logan snapped, but really he felt like he might fall over. "He didn't even- not even a word- but-"

Rose pursed her lips sympathetically as Logan rushed down the hallway to James's room. He opened the door, finding an empty bedroom with the bed made neatly. Bolting to the dresser, Logan opened every drawer hoping to find James's clothes occupying them. By the end of it, it was apparent that James was gone.

* * *

James was glad to be back in California. He had his backpack and a duffle bag, Carlos carrying two of his bags through the airport.

"Dude, I've never seen you look so…" Carlos said wearily, looking over at his best friend. James met his eyes, knowing exactly what he meant.

James was pale, dark bags under his eyes and his face unshaven, hair unmade. He was wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt, which was unusual for him to wear out and about.

"I'm just ready to get back to normal," James answered.

"You hungry?" Carlos asked. "I know you have to be missing Cali pizza, huh?"

He had hoped that would get a smile out of James, since James LOVED California pizza. James just shook his head, watching the ground as they walked.

"I'm not hungry."

"Did you eat breakfast?"

"No."

"What did you eat last?"

"Dinner last night at about 5," James answered. "I'm not hungry."

Carlos twisted his lips, watching his changed friend. Before he went to Minnesota, James strutted around California with his chin up, making eye contact with everyone, throwing winks, making small talk with strangers, being friendly and charming. But now James just watched the floor, his smile gone, his brows forever upturned.

"Wanna tell me what happened with Logan?" Carlos asked gently as they reached his Jeep outside.

"No," was all James said as he slung his bags into the backseat.

* * *

Logan stared at the unfinished clips of his documentary sadly. He could just deal with what he had, but there was no conclusion, and that would for sure look bad in his portfolio.

He was more worried about James, though. After getting past his self-loathing, Logan realized that he just wanted to make sure James was okay. He had no idea if James was even alive anymore, since he had never answered the phone. He wanted to formally apologize and beg for forgiveness, but he never got the chance.

He decided to set up the camera and tell the camera everything that happened.

"And now he's off in California and he won't answer my calls. I'm sure he's back to normal, already forgot about me. But then again… I can't get that look he had on his face out of my brain… Gosh, he looked so hurt," Logan said after he explained everything. He paused, looking guiltily at his fingers. "Part of me knows I should leave him alone: that's what he wants, after all. I can't hurt him anymore if I leave him alone. But part of me remembers the way he would kiss me, the sweet things he would say, the way he was such a gentleman to me, treated me like a prince… I can't let him go this easily."

Logan looked up at the camera, twisting his lips.

"I really need an ending to my movie. I can't leave it at this: who would watch it?" he sighed. Then he remembered that he wasn't looking at HIS camera: he was looking at JAMES'S camera. The camera JAMES bought, it was rightfully his.

Well, he HAD to return the camera, after all.

And he HAD to have an ending to his movie.

And most of all, he HAD to make things right with James. Even if it meant he didn't get James back in the end.

Usually Logan wasn't this passionate: any other time like this, Logan would just pass it off and let it settle itself. But he couldn't this time: he couldn't let that image of the sad, heartbroken James be the last one he ever sees of that face.

"I've got the perfect ending," he said to the camera, excitedly. "We're going to Cali."

* * *

James had fallen asleep on the couch almost as soon as they got back to their place, still refusing to eat, but as least he wasn't sulking anymore. He was sitting against the arm of the couch, his legs spread, his head tilted back and his mouth hanging open. Apparently he hadn't slept much lately.

Carlos was looking through his emails on the couch beside James when James's phone started buzzing beside him, someone calling him. It was Logan, and Carlos knew Logan had been calling a lot lately with no answer.

He picked up the phone and went into his bedroom, answering the call.

"Hello?"

"H-hello? James?" Logan answered in surprise. "James?"

"This is Carlos."

"Can I talk to James?"

"He's sleeping," Carlos said simply. "I don't think he wants to talk to you anyway."

"It's all just a misunderstanding. Will you tell him to call me?"

"Care to tell me what the hell happened?" Carlos asked. "Because he won't talk about it."

Logan sighed and reluctantly told Carlos everything, from when they met and decided to make the movie, to James leaving. Carlos was shocked to hear all this: James had hardly even mentioned Logan at all, much less how deeply they were invested in one another.

"And you SWEAR you aren't getting with your ex again?" Carlos said sternly. "Tell me what I want to hear and I'll help you."

"No, I swear it was all a misunderstanding," Logan pleaded. "James is everything I want."

Carlos sighed and rubbed his face. What was he getting into?

"Look, you seem like a really nice kid. And the way Jay used to talk about you… He needs you in his life. Really," Carlos finally said. "I'll talk to him for you. Truth is, I need him happy again by Wednesday so he can take good pictures for the magazine. I'll do my very best, and we'll keep in touch."

"What's going on Wednesday?"

"He didn't tell you? He's got a huge gig for Playgirl. It's like the biggest career booster someone like us can get, and he got it. And if he's not on his A-game, they'll toss the pictures, or they could even send him on his way."

"Oh my God… He never mentioned it…"

"He didn't want to do it at first, didn't want to leave you."

Logan was silent, not knowing what to say. He had no idea James had such a huge opportunity, but more importantly that he was holding James back from it.

"We'll keep in touch, man," Carlos finally said. "Gotta run."

* * *

 **Super short chapter, I know. I'm in college now, so I wanted to post before I got too terribly busy! I WILL finish the story, but as usual posting will be unpredictable.**


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